January 20, 2005
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At the request of Onigiriman here is a little expansion from the detail he mentioned, but in general I keep saying that I just have to press on and can’t stop too long anywhere for now – there are “miles to go before I sleep”
Felix was just short of 21 that fall when we lay in wait of our first child in the world. You would have thought I was the stronger for the five plus years I had on him, but you’d be wrong. Deeper maybe, but not so likely to leap tall buildings. In fact, you just couldn’t keep him on the ground for long. Still, my mother was his match. She could charm the hairs out of your nose one minute and breathe fire through her own the next. She was smaller and older and grayer than he was for sure, but she could more than meet a challenge. Hell, she’d been a communist in her youth and pretty much hadn’t slowed down since then when it came to fighting the Good Fights. And it was her territory really, her one child was having a child and it was only going to happen the first time once. She’d been knocked off the dock for sure when I left my promising marriage to a husband she approved of and ran off to the other side of the planet with a boy-man she’d never even met yet and a foreigner to boot. Interestingly, as my daughter (who was about to be born then) recently pointed out, they were both Aquarians, a sign noted for its big-picture take on things. But this was a very small picture at that moment, contained inside an apartment that didn’t really classify as more than a place to eat and sleep. It had two rooms – the windows from each looked out on rooftops and stairwells. Actually, I’ve always liked cubbyhole kind of places I can wrap around myself. I like to be able to reach out and touch a wall no matter where I’m sitting. Makes me feel more solid and on balance. But that October when the two most formidable people in my life took up breathing room inside my tiny shelter with me, it was almost more than I could do not to gasp for air. Considering all the dynamics of the plot, they actually surprised me. In some kind of dance, they stepped out, turned, found an awkward rhythm, and performed a minor alchemy of accommodation. It was hot and water was dripping in the sink and we ate from paper plates and I tried to remember that the reason we all three were there was love.
Comments (8)
“In some kind of dance, they stepped out, turned, found an awkward rhythm, and performed a minor alchemy of accommodation.”
Sometimes words just taste good. I love the seemingly impromptu beginning of the sentence, but it was when the “alchemy of accommodation” hit my mind and mouth that I had a really strong feel about the rightness to the wholeness of the sentence. Thank you for the delightful juxtaposition of moving verbal morsels!
Life is certainly not boring! Keep on keeping on and patiently persevere!
Thanks for stopping by my site. How did you find me? Just curious.
Looks like you’re writing autobiography? Quite a bit of life story poured out here.
there are incredible, indelible images here. Of course I’m hooked.
Fantastic. “..the reason we all three were there was love”, beautiful. I love your imagery (not just in this post, but all I have read, But I am too lazy to reply to each. Forgive me!). Thanks for your comment. Yes, life is very good overall
You work magic with your words. So satisfyingly real. I wore black today, mourning for what America was…
I gotta learn to dance with my step-son… and I wish I could meet your mother. Maybe she’d get rid of my nose hairs for good!
Love not only helps us endure, but it also opens up so many possibilities. You are one helluva writer. Probably, I’ve said that before, and will again many times.
As harrowing as it must have sometimes been at the time, all unknown territory, an immense responsibility coming up, a wayward boy father, your writing irresistibly beautiful…