November 15, 2004
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MONDAY BOOK
Necessary Losses
Judith Viorst, 1986Just for the hell of it I looked up a 100 Best List of Books this morning posted by Modern Library, including Fiction and Non-Fiction, with a list chosen by their Board and a list chosen by their readers. It was kind of interesting. In the Fiction segment, the Board did not agree with the readers on any of the top 10. The Board’s #1 was Ulysses by James Joyce and the readers chose Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. In fact, the readers had four novels by Rand in their top 10 and 3 by L. Ron Hubbard. How scary is that? In the Non-Fiction contest, once again Board and readers had not one book in common in their top 10. The Board’s #1 was The Education of Henry Adams by Henry Adams, while the readers chose The Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand. The parameters by the way were books written since 1900 and the contest was in 1999. Looking over the lists, all 400 books, I found only a few that really rocked me at the time I read them, though many were instructive and certainly required in school. None are on my shelves today. I have a very small library, mostly self-help books of one sort or another, partly because of space and partly because I’m a firm believer in local libraries. So I picked a book I’ve had for years on my shelf to mention today because I’ve never been willing to throw it out or pass it on. Necessary Losses takes us on a journey through the various stages in life where in order to grow and change we must leave something behind. From the initial separation as a baby from one’s mother to a separate self, through childhood’s end, connecting with others as friends (“Convenience Friends and Historical Friends and Crossroads and Cross-Generational Friends and Friends Who Come When You Call at Two in the Morning), through marriage and divorce, through middle age, through mourning of others who die or leave in some way, and finally to acceptance of one’s own old age and eventual death, she shares wisdom with humor in a wonderfully helpful way. In her own words:
“We have to deal with our necessary losses. We should understand how these losses are linked to our gains. For in leaving the blurred-boundary of mother-child oneness, we become a conscious, unique and separate self, exchanging the illusion of absolute shelter and absolute safety for the triumphant anxieties of standing alone…And in giving up our impossible expectations, we become a lovingly connected self, renouncing ideal visions of perfect friendship, marriage, children, family life for the sweet imperfections of all-too-human relationships. And in confronting the many losses that are brought by time and death, we become a mourning and adapting self, finding at every stage–until we draw our final breath–opportunities for creative transformations.
Deep Thought: “Every year at Christmastime a whole set of emotions sweeps over me – emotions which probably go back to my childhood. The first emotion is wondering if I’m going to get any presents. Then it changes to “Hooray, I got some presents!” Then it changes to “Is that all the presents I got?”
Today I am grateful for: January 1 when I can leave the holidays behind
Guess the Movie: “I’m gonna do my kind of dancin’ with a great partner, who’s not only a terrific dancer; somebody who’s taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them; somebody who’s taught me about the kind of person I wanna be.” Answer: Dirty Dancing, 1987.
Winner: swawg.
A City Lies in Ruins, Along with the Lives of the Wretched Survivors
by Michael Georgy in Fallujah and Kim Sengupta
After six days of intense combat against the Fallujah insurgents, US warplanes, tanks and mortars have left a shattered landscape of gutted buildings, crushed cars and charred bodies. (Rest of article here.)
Comments (11)
Wow – though I guess with the times the way they are I can see why so many are reading Rand (look at who they elected for Prez.) Still, scary indeed. Though Ulysses is an odd choice, imo as well. Maybe next time we should pick, eh?
That many Ayn Rand fans out there? I am frightened. I think of her as a mediocre writer who’s really a political polemnicist with terrifying ideas. oh well. I’m a huge fan of BOTH editors top choices. Both are very difficult but the pay off is huge. I always thought Great Gatsby was the ‘best written’ contemporary (20th Century) novel (not the greatest story, but the writing – oh my!), but Ulysses offers a full tour through English literature, through classical structure, and through 20th Century issues while having some of the best written passages I’ve ever sen.
Henry Adams is a wild thing too. It’s an aquired taste, so to speak, the third-person autobiography, but it’s an amazing view of American History – unlike anything else you’ll find.
This makes me realise how little time spend actually reading a book
i read plenty here online but the whole energy is lost on the media age with audio books and such…
great post!
I think you should make up your own list…
I read Necessary Losses a long time ago, when I THOUGHT I had suffered losses. It went in one ear and out the other ( . . in one eye? . . . anyway) Maybe I should read that one again. Re: movie – Dirty Dancing! Oh, Johnny!
I’m reading a biography of Alexander the Great right now by Robin Lane Fox, who also worked on the movie coming out next week. I think it’s the first biography I’ve read. Loving it. I’d like to see a list by you too.
Dirty Dancing wins!
Ah, our books. Beloved, they really are that. Me, I like to underline and write in the margins, so I try to buy if I can rather than borrow from the library. Of about 3000 books (not counting the kid books, about 2000 which were dispersed, sob), I managed to whittle it down to maybe 2000 when I moved – still way too many, but now that I am writing more I like a kid in a candy shoppe when I find an old beloved book is still with me. I carry the location of my books on their shelves in my head – you, on the other hand, must carry entire books, for surely when you read knowing you can’t keep the copy you must retain much more!
I love books! I came across that top 100 book list a few month ago and was pretty surprised by the readers choice of Ayn Rand. I have read one of her books and it was not bad, but I would never have thought to put her at the top of the top 100! I’m still a bit confused by her elevation in readers eyes. It’s very interesting what is on the list and how they were ranked. I also wonder if it had not become more difficult in the later portion of the fading 20th century to have a book recognized as a great book. It seems to me that even great books could get overlooked today due to a decline in book readers and the volume of books out there to choose from. I also contemplate the potential success of some of the books on the list had they been released at the end of the 20 century, would they have ever been so popular?
Henry Adams is great!
Unfortunately, Ayn Rand is as deep as some readers are able to delve and they mistake such cultish claptrap for a philosophy.
from Rand to dirty dancing. that’s what i enjoy so much about you — fun juxtaposition of thoughts and ideas. thanks!