September 23, 2004

  • Lightening Up

    These are hideously serious times, but when I ran across this little list yesterday and it made me laugh I remembered how important it is not to hang out all the time in the rage end of the spectrum of emotions.

    HISTORY 2035


    - Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    - Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

    - Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon)

    - Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    - George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    - 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

    - Texas executes last remaining citizen.

    - Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

    - Baby conceived naturally…..scientists stumped.

    - Authentic year 2000 “chad” sells at Sotheby’s for $4.6 million.

    - Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.

    - Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

    - Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

    - New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.


    Deep Thought: Maybe it’s my imagination, but food seemed to taste better when I was a kid. Also, food would sing and dance and play musical instruments. But that could also have been my imagination.
    Today I am grateful for: Bowls
    Guess the Movie: “Walt Whitman once said, ‘I see great things in baseball. It’s our game. The American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.’ You could look it up.”
    Answer: Bull Durham, 1988 Winner: thenarrator
    Polls Today Kerry 255/Bush 273 Not much change but the EVP mentioned this riveting article by a University of Michigan professor about what would it be like if the Iraq War was in America.
    End of Day – 8:25 pm
    + = Seriously perfect fall weather today.
    - = Dentist said I have to have not one, but two crown lengthening surgeries and two new crowns after that.

Comments (11)

  • It would be hard for me to pick out a favorite…but the diet and weight loss study is neck and neck with mutants and the NFL draft!

  • Bull Durham

    it’s vitally important to keep laughing. And if Americans ever really experienced war (we haven’t, unless you lived in the south 1861-1865, even in WWII we had fewer deaths in four years than France had in the spring of 1940, and no invasion), we’d have a different attitude about it. There’s a very good reason Europeans want no part of this crap.

  • : )   OGod!  Another Bush!

  • Oh yeah it is scrubs. Guess you can tell i don’t watch it very much.

  • Funny! I think there is some sort of prophetic items in that list.. lets hope another Bush isn’t one of them! I can see Castro living to 112..

  • i needed that laugh! thanks!

  • I did read the article you mentioned…very to the point…

  • interesting ! * /N *

  • the list is too fun. and isn’t it so ludicrous that one might think America is capable of it?

  • George Z. Bush v. Chelsea for presidency,eh?  Is Bill still around in his 90′s to stump for her?

  • Chelsea? Naaaah. I’m thinking Amy Carter.

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