August 18, 2004

• BUMMER DAY

  No poems or politics, philosophy or pondering today. Just a big whimper. This morning at 8:45 I see the eye doctor, which thankfully is just a walk from my office at work. This is because for upwards of a month now I’ve had a “floater” – a speck of lint thing in my right eye that tracks with eye movement plus little flashes of light in even semidarkness out of the corners of my eyes. I now find out by looking it up on the net that put these two symptoms together and you’ve likedly got DETACHED RETINA which most probably requires surgery to reattach it and has the best chance if you arrive within 24 hours at your ophthalmologist’s office after the symptoms appear. Who knew? Then, guess what, detached retina can lead to MACULAR DEGENERATION or LEGAL BLINDNESS, a degeneration of the eyes related to aging and often running in families. And guess what, I had a grandfather who went blind and an aunt who always wore dark glasses. I never heard the term macular degeneration about either of them, but then I wasn’t listening either at the time.

  As if that wasn’t enough, at 2:00 I get to have the first of two ROOT CANALS in an upper right tooth. Despite the fact that I’ve had very regular dental care for years now, the dentist I go to didn’t catch that this abscess was apparently developing for “maybe a year now”, though without any symptoms until the past 2 weeks when I suddenly felt tenderness in my right cheek when I pressed on it. No toothache mind you. I went to the dentist last Thursday and he x-rayed and said abscesses in two side-by-side teeth and root canals for both and replace the crown on one. He looked at me with a mournful look as though he thought I would throw a giant fit. He doesn’t know how much dental stuff I’ve already been through in my life. So the airheads at the desk tried to book me for an appointment on September 21. I tried not to snap at them as I said “do you think that might be a little long for abscesses?” So they moved it up to 3 weeks out. Then yesterday as my face started to swell and turn numb (I’m sure whatever is in there growing is pressing on nerves) I called and insisted on antibiotics and they got me an appointment today. What I really fear is that I don’t know this dentist well. He strikes me as one of the ham-handed types who won’t be gentle. I just hope he isn’t pull-happy because that IS what will freak me totally out. I’d almost rather be guillotined than have a tooth pulled again.

  So I’m heading off to work now. No point staying home moping when I have plenty of energy anyway and no fever for some strange reason. I’ll check in later after my appointments. If you don’t hear from me at all it’s because something hideous happened, but I’m sure it won’t. Well, not hideous enough to keep me from getting home tonight sooner or later. I’ll report after the first appointment.
  Update 10:24 am - GOOD NEWS! I don’t have retinal detachment. They dilated my eyes and took a thorough look. I do have some floaters and vitreous detachment (which he said almost everybody my age gets) but unless I get gobs more floaters or start getting other radical vision changes, I’m okay for now anyway. He said the flashers are associated with the beginning of vitreous detachment and usually go away after a month or so. Floaters stick around but people usually just get used to them. Which is just fine by me.
  Update 5:03 pm – Thank god that’s over for today. The injection part went fine at the beginning but then the dentist had trouble with the first root canal (he decided to do both) and had to hang it up and refer it to a specialist. It took him a Really Long Time to do the second one but he said it was the one causing my face to swell up so I hope he’s right. In the chair 2.5 hours. But at least he didn’t accidentally stab me or chop my head off so I think I came out ahead. Thanks everyone for your kind words. You cannot believe how much it helped.
  Deep Thought: One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.
  Today I am grateful for: Having a few shreds of courage to muster

  • 8:37 am
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