October 10, 2003
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Chapter 4 coming Monday
Running late this morning. It’s the change in weather. Because of the night chill I turn my electric blanket thing on when I first wake up and it makes me fall back asleep longer.
Yesterday we had a pretty good storm. Right around noon the power went out all over the university hospital where I work. It came right back on because of our big emergency generators, but when I got home at 3:00 pm it was still off in my house. Lucky me though – it came on almost immediately.
Question for you this morning:
I belong to a weekly women’s circle. There is a woman whose behavior is stressing everyone out. There’s no way I can make a professional diagnosis of what is causing it. She has a very chaotic life, which she describes in a very rambling way and has trouble stopping so that she uses more than her share of the alloted time we have. She describes very disturbing events, such as rape, CSD interventions, poverty, etc. but answers all suggestions or offers of help with “yes, but…” Her 2 older children she describes as “abusive, angry, suicidal.” I have met the youngest who is bright enough to be a TAG (Talented and Gifted) student at 9 years old. This child seems sane enough, though very tiny and thin and dressed in raggedy clothes. This woman is already on disability of some kind (which she says she may lose) and has a counselor apparently, but these resources are obviously not changing much in her life for the better. So the situation is that the group leader told me this week after the meeting that she wants to find a way to get this woman out of the group as she feels others are being driven away and dreading to come. Any suggestions on what you would do in this situation or how you would handle it?
Thanks for any input whatsoever.
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Deep Thought:Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, “Okay, as long as it’s not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know.” He stared telling hes story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: “This story isn’t too long.” But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, “Uh-oh, this story is getting long.” But then the story was over, and I said to myself: “You know, that story wasn’t too long after all.” I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.
Comments (3)
(I’m sorry I’ve not been around to read your chapters properly; I’ll try to come back soon!)
As to your question: I think it depends on how the group’s run. What kind of authority does the group leader have? If possible, I’d have her contact the woman separately, invite her out for a coffee or something, and tell her that her situation is of great concern and doesn’t seem to be well-met by the group, which must per force focus on a great many people’s circumstances rather than just one. This would be a positive message only if there were another outlet to suggest — perhaps another group, or an individual counselor, or individual meetings with the group leader (if she were up to such a thing).
Tough situation!
Best of luck!
Thanks so much. Say, if you want to read the chapters in order I’ve put a link called Autobiography in the left column on my page so it’s easier to catch up.
My humble suggestion would that the group leader say to this person “we are afraid that this forum is not being very helpful for you”, . . . perhaps this lady would be better served by finding a pro bono counselor. Hope you guys find a good solution.