April 8, 2007
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SUNDAY BIO (cont.)
(Previous chapters here)There
was a drought that year in Corvallis, the driest year on record. How do
you measure thirst in a life that is drying up notch by notch behind a
layer of chemicals? You wait for the falling to end.When the
dark months began in my 38th year, life got darker with them. The
assistant professor went on sabbatical to the other side of the
country. No promises were made. It began to feel like my path through
each day was a tightrope. Balancing took every ounce of focus I could
manage. Somewhere during this time I acquired a shrink who prescribed
antidepressants, sedatives, and tranquilizers in various combinations,
never checking about the daily alcohol I added. At night I would lie in
bed like a frozen stick figure in panic about getting up and appearing
in the world the next day. In the day, I would devise elaborate schemes
to avoid making eye contact or performing tasks that would show how my
hands were shaking. My speech deteriorated into stammering. If walking
pneumonia is functioning with fluid in the lungs, this was a kind of
walking drowning too. Drowning while dying of thirst – the perfect
paradox. (to be continued next post)
Deep Thought:
“It’s interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees,
like apes, until finally they got the nerve to head out onto the
plains, where some were probably hit by cars.”
Today I am grateful for: The benefits of squinting
Guess the Movie: “And then she turned and ran into the church. I tried to follow, but it was too late.” Answer: Vertigo, 1958. Winner: thenarrator.
Iraqis Flock to City for Monday’s Massive Anti-US Protest
by Khaled Farhan
NAJAF,
Iraq – Thousands of Iraqis streamed to the holy southern city of Najaf
on Sunday in response to a call by fiery Shi’ite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr
for a big anti-American protest on Monday. Sadr, who blames the
U.S.-led invasion for Iraq’s unrelenting violence, has urged Iraqis to
protest on a day that marks the fourth anniversary of when American
forces swept into central Baghdad. (Rest of article here.)
Comments (8)
Oh how deeply I know that feeling. It is why water has become my central metaphor. This is brave writing – thank you for bringing it to us.
A grand Easter, and, Vertigo? yeah, Vertigo.
It’s hard to imagine…. grief is the only emotion close enough for me to relate.
Vertigo yeah!
ryc: You know you’ve found it many times… right now in the retelling of your story, so that we all can learn and discover…
The use of personal and environmental drought here is genius! Happy Easter lionne!
I find it so neat the way it is that when one shares such intimate details,
the vibrations are felt universally. Namaste
Remember the little guy in the movie reviews in the Sunday SF Chronicle pink section? I’m jumping in my seat clapping. (I rarely pay attention to reviews, but I loved that graphic). I want you to know that it’s a relief knowing this moving tale progresses to a point where the author is able to paint a story with strokes that can’t help but entangle the reader, that your gift survived intact. My seat is reserved for the duration, but I’d love also to rehash some of the first nine chapters if you ever feel inclined.
I love it when I read your posts and see that there’s already a handful of comments by fans who have swooped down before me. But stink, it’s really difficult to win your movie quiz. .o)
Interesting that you posted on your dark life the same day I did. Thanks for sharing your lonely but real story.