March 6, 2006
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MONDAY READING
Living Proof: A Medical Mutiny – by Michael Gearing-Tosh (2002)Sorry I’ve been missing in action for a bit. We had a real
gutpunch in our family when suddenly my son’s father, now 58, was
diagnosed with multiple myeloma. He’s lived in the Bay Area for
years so at first there was a lot of trying to get more information by
phone and deciding who of his loved ones here would go to visit him and
when. He and I have a son who is now 37, and two grandchildren,
ages 14 and 10 who all live here in Portland. Our
relationship began when we were very young in the Haight-Ashbury days
of my story (see Chapter 8 of my Autobiography – sidebar link) and
never
advanced
to marriage but has remained cordial over all these years since I moved
to Oregon in the 1970’s. He comes up for holidays and birthday
visits a few times each year and has been an involved parent and
grandparent. He is also a well-known musician who has numerous
friends from all over the world who love him dearly and a woman in his
life these past years who is taking tender care of him now.
Nevertheless, it’s been a frightening time for us, and the decision was
made for our son to visit him this past weekend before his dad has to
go tomorrow to get test results and probably a prognosis. So
while that was happening I went directly to the library and took out
some books to read about this hideous cancer of the bone marrow that is
incurable and for which the symptoms are usually only treated by
aggressive chemotherapy, with a limited life expectancy. I found
one with all the facts you’d ever want to know, and then I found one
that is the story of a person who had lived with it for at least eight
years at the time of the book publication by adopting an alternative
course of treatment to the mainstream medical approach. I thought
it was good to read something with a little hope in it in the middle of
all this darkness. So here’s a quote from the book for your
Monday reading:FOREWORD
The diagnosis is cancer.
The hospital tells me to start chemotherapy at once. Without it I
will die in months; with it I may live for two to three years.
I ask for a second opinion.
The advice is the same: start at once.
Then a world authority on cancer says that if I touch chemotherapy, I am a “goner.”
Which advice do I take? Should I look elsewhere? Do I have time?
The opposite of the phrase Living Proof is, I suggest, dead wrong.
Or, if you will, wrong and dead.
The stakes are high.
What am I to do?I can only wonder what the journey will be in the coming weeks, months, and hopefully years.
Deep Thought:
“If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization
and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this
isn’t really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then
we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our real civilization.
After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive
new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they’re
waving good-bye.”
Today I am grateful for: Anything that makes me laugh
Guess the Movie: Well,
here I am, anonymous all right. With guys nobody really cares about.
They come from the end of the line, most of ‘em. Small towns you never
heard of: Pulaski, Tennessee; Brandon, Mississippi; Pork Van, Utah;
Wampum, Pennsylvania. Two years’ high school’s about it, maybe if
they’re lucky a job waiting for them back at a factory, but most of ‘em
got nothing. They’re poor, they’re the unwanted, yet they’re fighting
for our society and our freedom. It’s weird, isn’t it? They’re the
bottom of the barrel and they know it. Maybe that’s why they call
themselves grunts, cause a grunt can take it, can take anything.
They’re the best I’ve ever seen, Grandma. The heart & soul. Answer: Platoon, 1986.
Peace Activist Sheehan Arrested in NY Protest
NEW YORK – Cindy Sheehan, the anti-war activist whose son was killed in
the Iraq war, was arrested with three other protesters in New York on
Monday after a rally with women from Iraq. (Rest of article here).
Comments (22)
I wish I could think of sure-fire laugh provoker for you. That’s really rough news for your family.
We’ll be praying….
“The Journey Through Cancer” by Dr. Jeremy Geffen is another book worth reading. (We lent out our copy and never got it back.) Dr. Geffen used to practice here in Vero Beach, and we heard him speak once at The Book Center shortly after publication of that book.
Very sorry to learn of what you all are going through. My own feeling in general is that after educating oneself as much as possible, the thing to do is to make a decision and then be positive that one has made the RIGHT decision, even if there’s no way to prove what was right and what was wrong.
And also, I always go back to what Norman Cousins wrote about the beneficial effects of laughter. Endorphins cure more than just pain. I do believe.
RYC: I really appreciate what you said in response to my Oscar blog. You are a wonderful soul mate and I’m glad I know you.
May God Bless your son’s father. My prayer for him.
Andrea, Hope your child’s Father gets well I am praying for the whole family, Judi
Oh, dear! Be well.
{{{+++}}} I’d want to beat the odds and try that alternative approach. I know a person who had lung cancer- decided to take a drug for women from South America (I don’t know the name) and then went on a whirlwind world tour- True Living- he came back and miraculously didn’t have a trace of cancer… I hope he beats it. {{{++++}}}}
I wish you could be here and see Erik perform a bit from the movie The Life of Brian. Are you familiar with it? It’s an older movie and has the Monty Python guys in it.
Brian is caught writing graffiti on the wall by a centurion played by John Cleese. Brian is trying to write “Romans go home” in Latin but totally messes it up, whereupon Cleese starts giving him a Latin lesson.
Erik does such a funny rendition of this – I just know you would get a good laugh.
Anyway, I’m really sorry about the whole situation. My sister-in-law’s mother just lost her battle with mm. She went the chemo route and even had a bone marrow transplant. She lived 2 or 2 1/2 years since the intial diagnoses. It was a very difficult time.
I’ve enjoyed getting to know you through Xanga and I’m so sorry that your family has to deal with this. My thoughts and prayers will be with all during this time.
*bowing head*
Strength and good vibes to you and yours!
thank you.
What a blow! My heart goes out to your son’s father and his family. May they all have the strength to fight this.
Hopefully, years.
I’m so sorry. Words seem in adequate – my words I mean – but that I’m reading and now he and I and you are connected through a bit of prayer, even though in body and name we don’t know one another.
either way it is good that he has all of you helping and being supportive.
love to you.
I’d been worried about you when so few posts, and I’m sorry to know I had good reason. It’s a terrible thing; and I’m so sorry.
Lets do that real soon Andrea we need to have coffee and talk and get this friendship deepened. Judi
{{{hugs}}}
Laughs – well, Scrubs has been insane in a good way and it’s on on Tuesdays.
That’s some forward to a book. With warm thoughts and hopes for your family
.
I’m so sorry. Trust yourself, your insight, and beware of prognoses.Love conquers all, or just about everything worth hanging onto.
ryc: Yogalates- I’m thinking it’s a cross between Yoga and pilates. Tho -it sounds like yogurt and lattes-which sound more up my alley. :0)
I noticed you subscribed and thought you may have figured out I have also been recently diagnosed and prognosed (word? probably not…but good enough for now). I have three small kids and I have been told “no cure and 65% chance of not making it five years.” But I still challenge what this means! It’s harsh to watch everyone who loves me crumble inside. It’s worse to watch them prepare for some kind of gut-wrenching war. The treatments they were offering me were so barbaric and counter-intuitive. I have studied and compromised and now I have chosen to go outside the main stream and am finding much much peace with my decision. It doesn’t have to be a battle. It can be a long and loving journey. Maybe even one of joy.
But that’s my story and not yours or your children or your co-parent. (Sorry, if I am trying to hard to relate here…)Whatever you may be facing, please know that I am sending out a piece of peace to you and I hope it finds it way.
Much compassion, Pam
I’m not sure what to say. I know people who have used alternative therapy and conventional therapy. My research is in plant extracts for possible alternative therapies but the scientist in me says that kind of thing is too unproven.