MONDAY READING

A Million Little Pieces
by James Frey

Fact: The American Psychiatric Association began to use the term “disease” to describe alcoholism in 1965, and the American Medical Association followed in 1966.  The disease concept was originally applied to alcoholism and has been generalized to addiction to other drugs as well. The “disease of addiction” is viewed as a primary disease. It has these symptoms – physical withdrawal when the drug is removed, increasing tolerance to any drug the longer the body uses it, and a history of being terminal unless remission is achieved. In spite of this information, there are many who still feel that addicts are bad weak people who should “Just Say No.” During the recent hubbub about this book, I saw two female newscasters discussing the confrontation by Oprah of the author in which righteous indignation beamed from Oprah’s eyes while Frey looked like the proverbial deer caught in her headlights. One newscaster said she had to turn it off, that it was too painful to watch this public flogging. The other said with a grin, “I enjoyed every minute.” For me, it wasn’t quite that clear a reaction. I’d begun reading the book before the whole shockeroo exploded and, after 21 years of Recovery in 12-step programs and approximately 1100 meetings where I’ve heard basically the same stories over and over again, I was finding the actual treatment center descriptions totally believable. I myself didn’t go through treatment but I’ve been into many of them over the years to bring meetings in to people who can’t come out. I must say the part about the dental work with no anesthetic didn’t seem likely – what I would have expected was novocaine during the surgery but then sent away with non-narcotic pain medication afterwards. Frey has apparently fessed up to embellishing details. I could care less if he vomited three times or 850 times. What speaks to me so far in his telling is the sense of hopelessness, rage, exhaustion, and despair which every addict I’ve ever known has to reach before he or she can turn a corner and choose life over death. And frankly, most go ahead and die. That’s how powerful the disease is. And most who begin recovery relapse and die. That’s how powerful the disease is too. I’ve lived in the same city and gone to the same meetings for all these 21 years and today I see only a handful of the dozens of people who began their journey back to life when I did. Oh sure, some of them moved away and some of them just don’t go to meetings anymore (though that is the #1 reason everyone always gives when they return from a relapse) and some of them died of other causes. This particular addict decided to write a book and called it a memoir. It’s clearly not a work of literature by a Harvard graduate or Shakespeare. He got hooked up with a publishing company that apparently in all the time they worked together did not have the foresight to fact check such things as dental work without anesthetic. What were they thinking??!! It was their job to know about legalities. So it gets published and the Mighty Oprah likes it and finds it a tale of redemption. That gets it the attention of a web site whose job it is to bring the mighty down – kind of like the paparazzi do. That leads to the “public flogging.” Now there may be a class action lawsuit. In my humble opinion, there have probably been countless memoirs that could also have been fact checked to death and come up short of rigorous honesty (which by the way is one of three principles drummed into every new recovering addict’s head – honesty, openmindedness, willingness). James Frey wasn’t able to do rigorous honesty to the satisfaction of Oprah or probably most folks who’ve never been addicted to anything (like Oprah to food, for example) or known or loved or grieved an addict in their lives. The gist of his journey is an old familiar story for me, and I hope in the end it’s a good story for him. As for Oprah, well…….

Deep Thought: ““If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys some and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.”
Today I am grateful for: Storm drains
Guess the Movie: “You run one time, you got yourself a set of chains. You run twice you got yourself two sets. You ain’t gonna need no third set, ’cause you gonna get your mind right.” Answer: Cool Hand Luke, 1967. Winner: RnBoW_SPOT.
Rep. Waxman Requests GAO Investigation into Multi-Billion Dollar Medicare Windfall for Pharmaceutical Industry
WASHINGTON – January 27 – Today Rep. Henry A. Waxman wrote to GAO regarding concerns that the transfer of drug coverage for dual-eligible beneficiaries from Medicaid to Medicare, mandated by the Republican Congress, which will likely result in a multi-billion dollar windfall for drug manufacturers. The text of the letter follows: (Rest of article here.)

SUNDAY GOOD NEWS

Breakthrough in Bird Flu Vaccine

I tell you, I get so confused about all this flu information. First we got surprised last year by the first lack of vaccine I can remember. Then, all of a sudden we start hearing about bird flu, which apparently has been around for 100 years worldwide, first identified in Italy. All birds can get it (plus pigs), but some are less likely than others and it has a wide range of symptoms from mild to killer. Till now, the serious outbreaks were all substrains H5 and H7 of influenza A virus. We actually had an epidemic in the ‘80’s in the U.S. which we wiped out by destroying 17 million birds. I so don’t remember that, but it’s true. All Type A flu vaccines (which are the kind we get the shots for – well some of us – each year) constantly mutate, so that’s why the vaccine is different every year. The first time we knew it had crossed to humans was 1997 in Hong Kong when 6 people died during a bird outbreak. So they killed ALL the poultry in Hong Kong to corral it. In February 2003 it happened again in Hong Kong. Lots of living up close with chickens in those parts. Same month it popped up in The Netherlands. The most recent freakout was January 2004 in Vietnam. The strain called H5N1 is the one everybody is concentrating on. You can read more of the history here. The Good News is that this week researchers at the University of Pittsburgh announced it had taken just one month to make a bird flu vaccine that completely protected chickens from H5N1. They are already making a plan to test it in humans. The way vaccines were made before was to grown them in chicken eggs, which took a long time and wasn’t 100% foolproof to work. For this vaccine, they didn’t use the actual H5N1 virus, just genetic sequence data from the CDC. Are you following this now? Instead, they artificially generated the DNA coding for the gene that controls a protein on the H5N1 virus’s surface. Then they spliced the DNA into a human common cold virus. This produced a two-fold immune response, making the body generate both antibodies and T cells (which fight infection). OK, I’m exhausted now, but I hope you get the picture. The cavalry is coming!

Deep Thought: “I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but listen to yourself!”
Today I am grateful for: Doppler radar
Guess the Movie: “Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” Answer: Patton, 1970. Winner: twoberry.
US Peace Activist Cindy Sheehan Meets Venezuela Leader, Ponders US Senate Run
CARACAS, Venezuela – U.S. peace activist Cindy Sheehan, whose son was killed in Iraq, said Saturday she is strongly considering running for office against U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein because the California Democrat will not support calls to immediately bring troops home. (Rest of article here.)

SATURDAY PHOTO

J.D. Salinger
by Lotte Jacobi

In 1951, one of the most banned, as well as most taught, books in American literature was written by Salinger – The Catcher in the Rye. On the dust jacket of its first edition was one of the very few photographs ever taken of its author, who besides this one novel, only wrote a handful of short stories before he disappeared into a reclusive life in New Hampshire, where he still lives today at age 87. The photo was taken by Lotte Jacobi. He was 32 then, but she was already 55, having been born in 1896 in Poland to a family of famous photographers. She began to study photography as a child and got formal training in Germany in the 1920s. In 1935, she left Germany for New York to escape the Nazi regime. By then she was 39. Over the next 20 years she photographed many famous people, including Einstein, Robert Frost, Eleanor Roosevelt, Thomas Mann, and Marc Chagall. In 1955, she moved to her son’s property in Deering, New Hampshire in the southwest corner of the state not far from where Salinger still lives. She opened a gallery and in the last years of her life received many awards. She lived to be 94 years old. These are some of her photos.

Deep Thought: “If I could be any kind of dog, I think I’d be one of those little yappy dogs, because while you’re sitting there on the couch trying to sound real smart, I’m just yapping away. Just yappin’ and yappin’, and there’s nothing you can do about it, because I live here.”
Today I am grateful for: Doorknobs
Guess the Movie: “He’s more machine now than man; twisted and evil.” Answer: Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi, 1983. Winner: Eliminate_the_Impossible.
Kerry Steps Up
by Matthew Rothschild
Hear, hear, for John Kerry.
Finally, a Democrat willing to take a principled and courageous stance against Alito, and to do what needs to be done: and that’s to filibuster.
Though New York Times reporter David Kirkpatrick, in an ostensible news story, mocked Kerry for “hobnobbing” in Davos, Switzerland, during the early parts of the Senate debate, millions of progressives are cheering Kerry on—and Ted Kennedy, for that matter, who also has endorsed the filibuster tactic. (Rest of story here.)

THURSDAY WHATEVER

Product Red

That Bono – he is one Activist Dude. Showing up at the World Economic Forum in Davos, he launched this new attack on AIDS in Africa by lining up some heavyweight corporations to use the color red in upcoming sales of their stuff. These include American Express, which will donate a percentage of its sales on the new AmexCo Red Card; Gap and Giorgio Armani with Converse tennies, T-shirts, sunglasses, and credit cards; oh, and just maybe a red Apple computer. The Money Bigs like it because it’s practically free advertising with Bono behind it. Here’s the stats as of the end of 2005: 40.3 million people worldwide living with HIV/AIDS – 1.2 milion of those were in this country and 25.8 million in Sub-Saharan Africa, which willl give you some idea why every time you hear some world leader type heading up a fundraiser it’s usually with that part of the world in mind. Here’s a few more statistics:

1. More than 25 million people have died of AIDS since 1981.
2. Africa has 12 million AIDS orphans.
3. By December 2005 women accounted for 46% of all adults living with HIV worldwide, and for 57% in sub-Saharan Africa.
4. Young people (15-24 years old) account for half of all new HIV infections worldwide – more than 6,000 become infected with HIV every day.
5. Of the 6.5 million people in developing and transitional countries who need life-saving AIDS drugs, only 1 million are receiving them.

It’s weird but I hardly ever hear much at the local level any more about this devastating disease. I’ve personally only watched one friend die from it and that was years ago. Obviously, the big drug companies are doing their share to hold back the solution. Just for today, Bono rocks.

Deep Thought: “When I heard that trees grow a new “ring” for each year they live, I thought, we humans are kind of like that: we grow a new layer of skin each year, and after many years we are thick and unwieldy from all our skin layers. “
Today I am grateful for: Dirt
Guess the Movie: “Jeesh, all Bolivia can’t look like this.” “How do you know? This might be the garden spot of the whole country. People may travel hundreds of miles just to get to this spot where we’re standing now. This might be the Atlantic City, New Jersey of all Bolivia for all you know.” Answer: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 1969. Winner: dangerdan.
Bono launches Red with iconic brands to help fight Aids
by Julia Pearlman Brand Republic 26 Jan 2006
LONDON – U2 frontman Bono has launched Product Red, a new worldwide brand, supported by American Express, Converse, Gap and Giorgio Armani, to raise funds in the fight against HIV and Aids in Africa. (Rest of article here.)

TUESDAY POLITICS

Somethin’s happenin’ here….For the first time in 500 years since the Spanish Conquest an Actual Native Bolivian has been elected President of his own country – Juan Evo Morales Aima (commonly known as Evo Morales). And uh oh, he’s backing the country’s coca farmers and heading a socialist political party. He was born in a mining town in the highlands of the country and later his family migrated to the lowlands where coca is grown. His political involvement began in his early 30’s and today he is 47 and this is how he states the driving force behind his party:

“The worst enemy of humanity is capitalism. That is what provokes uprisings like our own, a rebellion against a system, against a neoliberal model, which is the representation of a savage capitalism. If the entire world doesn’t acknowledge this reality, that the national states are not providing even minimally for health, education and nourishment, then each day the most fundamental human rights are being violated.”

And to answer your (and my) questions about what is the deal with the cocaine growing, here’s what I learned at Wikipedia:

Morales’ ideology about drugs can be summarized in the words “coca leaf is not a drug”, in fact the chewing of coca leafs has always been a tradition for the local populations (Aymaras and Quechuas) and coca leaves are considered sacred by them. Its drug effect is indeed less strong than the caffeine contained in a coffee, and for many poor Bolivian people it is considered the only way to keep working the entire day, which can be fifteen or eighteen hours long for some. The practice of chewing coca leaves by the indigenous population in Bolivia is more than 1000 years old and has never caused a drug problem in their society; this is why Morales believes that the cocaine problem should be solved on the consumption side, not by eradicating the coca plantations.

God knows we barely have time to worry about Iraq, do we? How can we keep up with those industrious coca-chewing liberals to the south? I just thought it was a great idea – an actual Bolivian running his own country.

Deep Thought: “Whenever I start thinking that I am not living up to my potential, I remind myself of the old farmer and his fight to the death with the insane pig. It’s an exciting story, and it takes my mind off all this “potential” business.”
Today I am grateful for: Desks
Guess the Movie: “I spent a lot of time being scared for you. And I heard you were back. But the man I loved, the man who vanished never came back.” Answer: Batman Begins, 2005. Winner: la_chatte_gitane.
Thousands Throng Streets as Bolivian Leader Sheds Tears but Talks Tough at Inauguration
· President insists he will not eradicate coca trade
· Warning to US as Morales threatens to turn to China
by Jonathan Rugman and Dan Glaister
Bolivia installed its first indigenous president yesterday, Evo Morales, who insisted he would stick by radical drugs and energy policies regardless of US consternation at another South American country turning to the left. (Rest of article here.)

MONDAY READING

Willful Creatures
by Aimee Bender

Been reading this collection of short stories that I checked out of the library after reading a review in some magazine. I usually ignore short stories, like I ignore TV series. I like something I can sink my teeth into for awhile. On the other hand, short stories are kind of like photos – they capture a moment (or two), an essence of something. And like a great photo, having them around can always take you back fast to that feeling they captured. Aimee Bender, I found out on looking her up, is young – 31 to be exact, teaches creative writing at USC, and burst onto the scene in 1997 with her graduate thesis at UC Irvine, a collection of stories called The Girl in the Flammable Skirt. With a novel in between this is her newest venture. And here’s the first paragraph of the story I just read called Flowers and Words:

So there we were, Steve and I, smack in the middle of the same fight we’d had a milion times before, a fight I knew so well I could graph it. We were halfway down the second slope of resignation, the place where we usually went to different rooms and despaired quietly on our own, and right at the moment that I thought, for the first time in seven years, that maybe things were just not going to work out after all, that was the moment he suggested we drive to Vegas right then and tie the knot. “Now?” I said and he nodded, with gravity. “Now.” We packed as fast as we could, hoping we could pack faster than those winged feet of doubt, driving 100 miles per hour in silence, from sand to trees to mountains to dry plains to that tall, electric glitter. Parked. Checked in. Changed clothes. Held hands. Together we walked up to the casino chapel but as soon as Steve put his nose in the room, well, that’s when those winged feet fluttered to rest on his shoulder. Reeling, he said he had a migraine and needed to lie down. An hour later he told me, washcloth on his forehead, that he had to fly home that instant and could I drive back by myself? I stood at the doorway and watched him pack his nicest suit, folding it into corners and angles, his chest and legs and back and butt in squares and triangles, shut and carried. “Goodbye,” we said to each other, and the kiss was an old dead sock.

Now that’s a moment we’ve probably all experienced in one way or another at one time or another – that moment when something hopeful hit the brakes. The rest of the story takes a turn you’d never EVEN imagine. Like life has a way of doing.

Deep Thought: “If you’re ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don’t stop and start thinking of what other words have “under” in them, because that’s probably the first sign of jungle madness.”
Today I am grateful for: The enjoyment of walking downhill
Guess the Movie: “ I know now why you cry. But it’s something I can never do.” Answer: Terminator 2: Judgment Day, 1991. Winner: Eliminate_the_Impossible.
Matriotism
by Cindy Sheehan
Much as I wish I could take credit for the word “matriotism,” another woman wrote to me and gave me the concept. I was so intrigued by the word that I have been meditating on the possible ideology behind it, and a new paradigm for true and lasting peace in the world. (Rest of article here.)

SATURDAY PHOTO

I Touched a Bulb Yesterday
Im_Moses (aka Lukas Mary)

Almost didn’t get to this today as time fled by, but now that I have it occurred to me to make this week’s photo one by one of us xangans. Since I’m at “I” in the alphabet (see sidebar for Saturday Photos), I chose this one. Arriving in our community something over 2 years ago, he is now 16, a wildly inventive and talented photographer, and a simply delightful example of what precocious means – curious, energetic, friendly, and bound to grow into something spectacular. From a fast flyover of the entries since he arrived here, I can relate a few items about him that are really all I know and maybe just figments of my imagination:

1. He apparently was inspired by our very own JennyG to take up photography in earnest after receiving a Xmas 2004 digicam.
2. He has a Moses costume which may or may not be related to his xanga name.
3. He often does stream-of-consciousness-Kerouac-all-on-a-long-piece-of-paper-type writing.
4. His Mom is a painter of Diego Rivera like paintings. Well the few I saw.
5. He likes to photograph food and the inside of his nose.
6. He had a particularly not fun dental period during these two years.
7. He’s a self-confessed fingernail biter.
8. He lives in or near the woods but I have no idea where.
9. He has many friends and started a photo contest recently on xanga.
10. Today he wrapped a tree. But it’s free now.

So on days when you think maybe there’s not a damn thing to smile about, visit Lukas Mary, or just remember there’s a generation coming up that may find some answers we couldn’t.

Deep Thought: “Like jewels in a crown, the precious stones glittered in the queen’s round metal hat.”
Today I am grateful for: Depth
Guess the Movie: “And the tiny hairs on your arm, you know when they stand up? That’s them. When they get mad… it gets cold.” Answer: The Sixth Sense, 1999. Winner: AskDennis.
Analysis: Google Case Raises New Questions
by Tom Raum
Already on the defensive over its domestic spying program, the Bush administration has alarmed privacy and free-speech advocates by demanding search information about millions of users of Google and other Internet companies. (Rest of article here.)

WEDNESDAY MOVIES

Golden Globes 2005

So fun to watch awards shows but unfortunately on a work night I can’t stay up to the bitter end to see the Best Picture and Best Actor nods, which they always keep for the very last. Here’s a list of winners:

Best Motion Picture Drama – Brokeback Mountain
Best Actress Drama – Felicity Huffman in Transamerica
Best Actor Drama – Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote
Best Musical or Comedy – Walk the Line
Best Actress in Musical or Comedy – Reese Witherspoon
Best Actor in Musical or Comedy – Joaquin Phoenix
Best Supporting Actress – Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener
Best Supporting Actor – George Clooney in Syriana
Best Foreign Language Film – Paradise Now
Best Director -Ang Lee – Brokeback Mountain
Best Screenplay – Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana – Brokeback Mountain
Best Musical Score – Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Song – A Love That Will Never Grow Old – Brokeback Mountain

I think it’s pretty interesting that Brokeback Mountain won Best Picture. From reading reactions on other blogs, I see that the majority of folks either aren’t that excited about seeing it or were underwhelmed when they did. I saw a lot of talk about the sex scenes and how they didn’t include expectable foreplay, etc. Also some reaction to the selfishness of the affair between the two men when each had wives and children. IMO, Heath Ledger’s character made it pretty clear from the gate that he was petrified of being found out and was trying to find a more acceptable lifestyle by marrying. He seemed to genuinely love his wife and children but be unable to let go of the real fantasy over years of summer trysts of what might have been if the world was different. It wasn’t all that long ago that “coming out” was unthinkable anywhere, let alone in Wyoming. I thought it was significant that neither character played their role with stereotypical limp-wristed mannerisms. To me all that was far less compelling than the connection on an emotional level between two men used to hard lives with no end in sight. But enough about that. I reviewed it a few days ago already. Kind of wished Heath Ledger would have gotten Best Actor. Philip Seymour Hoffman has already shown he has art film chops. For Ledger, it would have been a big step up to The Show. Maybe some other awards shows coming up will choose him. In the meantime, it may not be your cup of tea but it’s an important step forward in telling some stories that need to be told.

Deep Thought: “I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.”
Today I am grateful for: Not arriving at dementia yet (I don’t think)
Guess the Movie: “ I was having this awful nightmare that I was 32. And then I woke up and I was 23. So relieved. And then I woke up for real, and I was 32.” Answer: Before Sunset, 2004.
The Forgotten Wounded of Iraq
By Ron Kovic
Thirty-eight years ago, on Jan. 20, 1968, I was shot and paralyzed from my mid-chest down during my second tour of duty in Vietnam. It is a date that I can never forget, a day that was to change my life forever. Each year as the anniversary of my wounding in the war approached I would become extremely restless, experiencing terrible bouts of insomnia, depression, anxiety attacks and horrifying nightmares. I dreaded that day and what it represented, always fearing that the terrible trauma of my wounding might repeat itself all over again. It was a difficult day for me for decades and it remained that way until the anxieties and nightmares finally began to subside. (Rest of article here.)

TUESDAY POLITICS

Oh.My.God. – Oregon’s challenged 1997 Death with Dignity law squeaked past the Supreme Court today by a 6-3 vote. And note this: the dissenting votes came from Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, and our new Supreme Court Chief Justice, John Roberts. Is this high-profile case a portent of his true colors and things to come or what? The ruling states that the federal government does not have the power to stop doctors from prescribing legal drugs to help terminally ill patients die, so it’s a victory for advocates of physician-assisted suicide, since it will allow individual states to legalise the practice without running into problems from federal drug laws. I love my Oregon. When we get our dander up, we’re just feisty as hell about our state’s rights. Take that John Ashcroft.

Deep Thought: “Whether they live in an igloo or a grass shack or a mud hut, people around the world all want the same thing: a better house!”
Today I am grateful for: The concept of Deep
Guess the Movie: “I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floatin’ around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it’s both.” Answer: Forrest Gump, 1994. Winner: freakygirlwannabee.
Groups File Lawsuits Over Eavesdropping
by Eric Lichtblau
WASHINGTON – Two leading civil rights groups filed lawsuits today against the Bush administration over its domestic spying program to determine whether the operation was used to monitor 10 defense lawyers, journalists, scholars, political activists and other Americans with ties to the Middle East.
The two lawsuits are the first major court challenges to the eavesdropping program. They were filed separately by the American Civil Liberties Union in Federal District Court in Detroit, and by the Center for Constitutional Rights in Federal District Court in Manhattan. (Rest of article here.)

FRIDAY FIVE

Appetizer – Name one chore you don’t really mind doing.
Feeding the birds and squirrels in my backyard. My kitchen window looks out on 3 birdbaths (2 hanging from bush and tree), 5 birdfeeders, and 2 squirrel feeders, as well as 2 suet containers stuck to trees. It’s pretty lively most of the time. The jays are the real hogs – they throw bird seed all over the place just to find the pieces they like. If squirrels weren’t fluffy and had big jaunty tails they would really be just tree-climbing rodents, so I don’t think of them that way. I have binoculars on my window sill just in case of the occasional rare type of bird that comes through. The sound of many birds excitedly chirping as they swoop across the yard is music. It’s endlessly pleasing.
Soup – How many times have you moved homes in your life?
Uncountable. So many. But I’ve only actually bought the one where I live now about 12 years ago. It’s a whole different feeling.
Salad – How old were you when you had your very first kiss?
It was in grade school, so I think I was about 11 or 12. Stanley Keller, cutest boy in my country school, kissed every girl at one time or another. In the steampipe room of the school, whatever that’s called.
Main Course – What time of day do you usually feel your best?
Easily early morning before dawn when it’s quiet and nobody is up yet to do me any damage.
Dessert – Using three words or less, describe your current local weather.
Wet wet wet.

Deep Thought: “Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It’s cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time, people are going to get out of the way. Cars too!”
Today I am grateful for: Having both day and night
Guess the Movie: “And I guess that was your accomplice in the woodchipper.” Answer: Fargo, 1996. Winner: strawberry14.
Diabetes and the Trash Food Industry
by Derrick Z. Jackson
Type-2 Diabetes is sweeping so rapidly through America we need not waste time giving children bicycles. Just roll them a wheelchair. Forget the basketballs and baseballs. Give them Braille flash cards. (Rest of article here.)