Month: December 2004

  • SATURDAY POEM I ADMIRE
    (See sidebar for others)

    There was a time in my youth when I discovered Kenneth Patchen and his poetry represented to me all the best of gentleness and love for humanity. I read it constantly to keep my spirits up. He wrote more than 40 books of poetry and for over 30 years of his life lived with a spinal ailment that kept him in constant pain. He died in 1972 at the age of 61. Here is a page of these wonderful picture poems. Here is another page of his poems.

    Deep Thought: “Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I “swarm about” to protect my nest of chocolate eggs.”
    Today I am grateful for: Christmas lights
    Guess the Movie: “That is so fetch!” Answer: Mean Girls, 2004. Winner: strawberry14.
    Leading Cleric Asks that Iraqi Vote be Put Off
    by Mohamad Bazzi
    SULAIMANIYAH, IRAQ — A prominent Shia Muslim cleric is proposing a delay in Iraq’s election, in the first Shia attempt to mend the religious rift that has developed over the vote’s timing.
    The Bush administration, the Iraqi government and the Shia religious hierarchy all insist that the parliamentary election should go ahead as scheduled on Jan. 30, despite concerns about security and poor preparations. But the cleric’s proposal could help sway the Shia establishment toward supporting a delay, as many Sunni Muslim groups have lobbied for. (Rest of article here.)
    And for a real pick-me-up check out Howard Dean’s recent speech at SimonTemplar’s page.
    End of Day: 9:04 pm
    + = Done with NA and AA 20-year birthday meetings thank god.
    - = Have been letting holiday pressures keep me from my writing, so that better change right now.

  • FRIDAY FIVE
    (Sorry I’m so late. I’ve been struggling to set up my first DSL connection all day. Of course, I would pick the day they’re down for maintenance most of it. You cannot believe how frustrating it’s been to call Earthlink about 20 different times. Now that it works though it’s making me hyperventilate. How did I ever live without this?!!)
    1. Appetizer
    Make up a word and give us its definition.
    Peacemogrify – Impeach Bush and vote in Jon Stewart as President while sending invitations to a Peace Conference to be held in New York City at the site of the Twin Towers and invite all foreign heads of state.
    2. Soup
    What is currently your favorite song?
    Nuevos Senoritas – by Indigo Girls
    3. Salad
    What’s at the top of your Christmas wish list this year?
    A warm interaction between the various feisty members of my immediate family whom I adore.
    4. Main Course
    Name a scent that reminds you of someone special in your life.
    Emeraude – reminds me of my long-ago ex-mother-in-law who at the time was the epitome of class and who wore it and so it became my lifelong favorite cologne.
    5. Dessert
    Who is someone on television that you feel probably shouldn’t be, and why?
    Anyone on Fox TV.

    Deep Thought: “If you’re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it’s really embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.”
    Today I am grateful for: Not having high blood pressure
    Guess the Movie: “Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team down a run and you’ve got the chance to be the hero on national television… if you don’t blow it. Saw your wife last night. Great little dancer. That guy she was with? I’m sure he’s a close personal friend, but tell me, what was he doing with her panties on his head?” Answer: Major League, 1989.
    Nobel Winner Maathai Sounds Alarm Over Planet
    by Inger Sethov
    OSLO – Saying the planet is at risk from human activity, Kenyan environmentalist Wangari Maathai urged democratic reforms and an end to corporate greed when she collected the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday. (Rest of article here.)
    End of Day: 8:53 pm
    + = What a day – did 20-year AA birthday and set up DSL after struggling with it all day and it’s fabulous!
    - = Feeling way behiind on Xmas preparations with zip wrapped yet.

  • THURSDAY WHATEVER

    I’ve been hearing about the Oil-for-Food scandal involving the United Nations and its embattled leader, Kofi Annan. Since I know basically nothing about this program until now that the rightwing conservatives have mounted an attack, I looked it up and found these points:
    1. The program was poorly planned and managed.
    2. The program fed Iraqis and kept UN sanctions in place.
    3. None of the money involved came from American taxpayers.
    4. The UN’s independent investigator, Paul Volcker, is no pushover.
    5. The Bush administration dropped the ball (dozens of times).
    6. The United States failed to crack down on Jordan, Turkey, and Syria.
    7. The Bush administration is not cooperating with the UN investigation.
    8. Senator Norm Coleman is a headline-chasing opportunist.
    9. There is no proof that UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan has done anything wrong.
    10. Member states have a responsibility to take action.
    Read more about each point in this article.
    Anybody else have some insight on this machiavellian, brain-twisting plot? Is it that if we got rid of the United Nations altogether then the current King of America could have totally clear gunsights as he scans the world for more fodder? Or is that too freaking simplistic?

    Deep Thought: “I remember that fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. “You don’t have to tell me,” I said. “I’m off the team, aren’t I?” “Well,” said Coach, “you never were really on the team. You made that uniform you’re wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times.” It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought, something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that’s when I felt the handcuffs go on.”
    Today I am grateful for: Bookmarks
    Guess the Movie: “Let me tell you something, this is not an easy job. I get a call on the radio, dispatch, it’s bad news. And it stinks. But this is my job and I love it. Because I want to do well – in this life and in this world, I want to do well. And I want to help people. And I might get twenty bad calls a day. But one time I can help someone and make a save – correct a wrong or right a situation – then I’m a happy cop. And as we move through this life we should try and do good. Do good… And if we can do that, and not hurt anyone else, well… then…” Answer: Magnolia, 1999. Winner: tikhead.
    Disgruntled Troops Complain to Rumsfeld
    by Robert Burns
    CAMP BUEHRING, Kuwait – Disgrunted U.S. soldiers complained to Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld on Wednesday about the lack of armor for their vehicles and long deployments, drawing a blunt retort from the Pentagon chief.
    “You go to war with the Army you have,” he said in a rare public airing of rank-and-file concerns among the troops. (Rest of article here.)

  • WEDNESDAY MOVIE

    Persons of Interest

    Okay, let’s say you already know you’re a Liberal or a Progressive or whatever label we’re called and you know you despise most of what’s going on politically in this country right now and the war in Iraq is like a future Vietnam and you don’t need to be convinced of any of this, it’s like preaching to the choir. Still, if you want to add to the depth of understanding of what all this might mean to Arabs or Muslims living in this country since 9/11, you must see this film. You probably won’t find it anywhere but arthouses, so if you don’t live in New York City or some big urban area, you’ll have to check the video store (it was just out this year) or the library (where I got my copy). More than 5000 of these people were detained after the 2001 attacks, and this film brings you the stories of 12 families, in whose case horrible mistakes were made and lives ruined or forever altered. Some were deported to conditions they had fled. All had long months of confinement. Shot in a simple bare room where each family simply stands and tells their experiences, it is incredibly powerful. Interspersed with the stories are shots of John Ashcroft making ends-justify-the-means comments about rounding them up and keeping them in custody. This film is the antithesis of stereotyping. Hope you see it soon. (Documentary by First Run/Icarus Films).


    Deep Thought: “You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea? Getting caught inside a watch somehow. You don’t even care, do you.”
    Today I am grateful for: Digital technology
    Guess the Movie: “Don’t you ever say that again about your fathers, because they are not cowards. You think I am brave because I carry a gun; well, your fathers are much braver because they carry responsibility, for you, your brothers, your sisters, and your mothers. And this responsibility is like a big rock that weighs a ton. It bends and it twists them until finally it buries them under the ground. And there’s nobody says they have to do this. They do it because they love you, and because they want to. I have never had this kind of courage. Running a farm, working like a mule every day with no guarantee anything will ever come of it. This is bravery.” Answer: The Magnificent Seven, 1960. Winner: thenarrator.
    1,000th U.S. Soldier Killed in Action in Iraq
    BAGHDAD — The number of U.S. troops killed in action in Iraq hit 1,000 Tuesday when the military said a soldier had been shot dead on patrol in Baghdad.
    “One Task Force Baghdad soldier died of wounds received at about 11:30 a.m. on Dec. 7. The soldier was on patrol when the unit came under small arms fire,” the military in Iraq said in a typically brief routine statement.
    “The name of the soldier killed is being withheld pending notification of next of kin.” (Rest of article here.)
    End of Day: 8:58 pm
    + = Jon Stewart was on Larry King Live tonight immediately followed by his own show.
    - = Everybody at my office wore red today for the office Christmas party, well pretty much everybody, except me and some others who weren’t going.

  • TUESDAY POLITICS

    U.S. Draft in 2005
    Actions Indicate Administration Has Plan To Reinstate Military Draft if Bush Re-Elected
    By Mike Blair (May 2004)
    A military draft may be reinstated by mid-2005 if President George W. Bush is re-elected in November. An appropriation of $28 million has been provided in the current defense budget to bring the nation’s Selective Service System up to speed, which many people believe will likely lead to a national draft of young men and women by June 15, 2005. (Rest of article here.)

    Anybody out there of draft age? In my case, my son is 36 but has a torn knee from a bad football injury in high school, and my grandson is 13. I figure they’d probably take my son anyway and the war will still be going on when my grandson is eligible. And college is not going to keep anybody out this time around. Of course, there will be exemptions of some sort for the children of Washington politicians, so you might think about getting your loved ones onto that job track. (Nobody’s talking about this on the media, but just type “military draft 2005″ in your search bar and see how many links you come up with.)


    Deep Thought: “Probably one of the main problems with owning a robot is when you want him to go out in the snow to get the paper, he doesn’t want to go because it’s so cold, so you have to get out your whip and start whipping him, and the kids start crying, and oh why did I ever get this stupid robot?”
    Today I am grateful for: Thread(s)
    Guess the Movie: “Oh I ain’t saying you did or you didn’t. All I’m saying is that you could have robbed banks, sold dope or stole your grandmother’s pension checks and none of us would have minded. But shaving points off of a football game, man that’s un-American.” Answer: The Longest Yard, 1974. Winner: thenarrator.
    Yesterday’s Draft Dodgers Help Today’s War Resisters
    Vietnam-Era Men Offer Aid in Canada to Iraq Deserters
    by M.L. Lyke
    VANCOUVER, B.C. — War can turn strangers into brothers. It’s true if they’re fighting it, and it’s true if they’re resisting it, as Vietnam War resisters resettled in this Canadian province know.
    In an American era of “love it or leave it,” they left. Now a number have joined to help peace activists here form a new “underground railway” for resisters to the Iraq war, providing food and shelter and transportation north. (Rest of article here.)
    End of Day: 8:00 pm
    + = CIA report comes out to confirm things getting worse in Iraq undercutting Bush’s claims.
    - = Things ARE getting worse in Iraq.

  • MONDAY BOOK

    The Artist’s Way
    A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
    Julia Cameron with Mark Bryan

    I’m about to start a 12-week course along with two forum friends – one in Arizona and one in Canada – based on this book and an accompanying journal. You can read some reviews of the book here that explain what it meant to some people who’ve done it already. From my understanding so far, it’s especially designed for people who feel blocked in their creativity or just want to stir it up for the first time ever. For years I let my love for writing lapse as I buried myself in the everyday drama of surviving but recently with a little extra time opening up as I semi-retired I began to write again. I joined Xanga, in fact, in order to give myself a little extra jumpstart to get my autobiography written and it has helped so very much. I read what others are writing here and am amazed and delighted, but more than enjoying their gift I can feel their passion for it. Very infectious. Writing is something I can do for the rest of my life to keep my mind and heart young and to express whatever natural talent I have for seeing the world and expressing what I see. So doing this course is a supplement to what I’ve already begun. The book was first published in 1992 after a workshop the author was doing became so popular that there was a demand for the course notes. I’ll report back in on my progress when I get a few weeks into it. Have a creative day!

    Deep Thought: “Too bad you can’t just grab a tree by the very tiptop and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you’d be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.”
    Today I am grateful for: House plants
    Guess the Movie: “Spring, 1877. This marks the longest I’ve stayed in one place since I left the farm at 17. There is so much here I will never understand. I’ve never been a church going man, and what I’ve seen on the field of battle has led me to question God’s purpose. But there is indeed something spiritual in this place. And though it may forever be obscure to me, I cannot but be aware of its power. I do know that it is here that I’ve known my first untroubled sleep in many years.” Answer: The Last Samurai, 2003. Winner: merrow_mistral.
    Howard Dean Seeks to Rally Demoralized Democrats
    by Rupert Cornwell in Washington
    The man with the scream is back. Less than 11 months after his concession speech on Iowa caucus night lifted political histrionics to a new level, Howard Dean is again fighting to be the savior of the Democrats in the US. (Rest of article here.)
    End of Day: 8:33 pm
    + = I love to watch That 70′s Show and can’t figure out where I was when it first came on or even how old it is or if it’s reruns.
    - = I have the Fox channel.

  • Thanks everyone for the kind words and good stories today. It really added to the joy.

    PEOPLE WHO KNOCK ME OUT
    (See sidebar for others)

    Today is a very special day for me. On this day 20 years ago I began a life in Recovery. The night before I drank the last of a bottle of wine that was in my bedroom closet and took the last codeine pill I had, grabbed my big old orange tabby cat, and climbed under the covers and gave up. The next night I went to an N.A. meeting and sat there shaking and listening, and the day after that I went into the hospital to detox. At that first meeting I learned some of the things that I would need to do in the coming days, foremost of which was to find a sponsor. That first sponsor gave me more structure for how to stay clean. I imprinted on N.A. (and A.A. later on) like a baby duck. At 45 years old, it should have been hard to take direction but it was obvious to me that I needed to do this with support rather than alone. And so one day led to the next. At 90 days, I began to work at the place where I still work today and in March will have been there 20 years too. I lost a lot of the possible paths I might have taken in my life because of addiction, but the last 20 years have given me the most important things back – peace of mind, respect of my family and self-respect, freedom from constant fear, and the chance to make that inner journey where the real dreams are. Today is a special day. Today I knock myself out.

    Deep Thought: “Let’s be honest: isn’t a lot of what we call tap-dancing really just nerves?“
    Today I am grateful for: Comic relief
    Guess the Movie: “No, you submit, do you hear? You be strong, you survive… You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.” Answer: The Last of the Mohicans, 1992.
    War in Iraq May Drain Bush’s ‘Political Capital’ Before He Can Spend It
    by Tom Andrews
    THE BRUTAL DESTRUCTION OF FALLUJA in order to “save” it and a recently published report that hundreds of thousands of Iraqi children are suffering from acute malnutrition–an affliction that has doubled since the US invasion–are just two of the many compelling reasons that stopping the Bush Administration’s war in Iraq is a moral imperative. The leadership required to meet this imperative will not come from Democrats in Congress. It will come from a focused, determined and relentless antiwar movement. (Rest of article here).
    End of Day: 8:07 pm
    + = Day one of my 21st year clean.
    - = Overstepped a family issue this morning.

  • Inga The Ice Breaker

    Backbone strewn smoothly
    In down-drifting vertebrae
    Scorched with bright water

    (a little winter haiku by me upon request – there is a real Inga)

  • SATURDAY POEM I ADMIRE

    White-Eyes

    In winter
        all the singing is in
             the tops of the trees
                  where the wind-bird

    with its white eyes
        shoves and pushes
             among the branches.
                  Like any of us

    he wants to go to sleep,
        but he’s restless—
             he has an idea,
                  and slowly it unfolds

    from under his beating wings
        as long as he stays awake
             But his big, round music, after all,
                 is too breathy to last.

    So, it’s over.
        In the pine-crown
             he makes his nest,
                  he’s done all he can.

    I don’t know the name of this bird,
        I only imagine his glittering beak
             tucked in a white wing
                  while the clouds—

    which he has summoned
        from the north—
             which he has taught
                  to be mild, and silent—

    thicken, and begin to fall
        into the world below
             like stars, or the feathers
                  of some unimaginable bird

    that loves us,
        that is asleep now, and silent—
             that has turned itself
                  into snow.

    Mary Oliver, 1935-, Pulitzer Prize winner, holds poetry chair at Bennington College, Vermont.


    Deep Thought:     “I’m not sure it’s good to think back to my childhood memories, because I end up feeling happy and sad at the same time, and that gives me a weird “neutral” feeling.”
    Today I am grateful for: Altoids
    Guess the Movie: “You’re the first man in five years who didn’t tell me I look like Veronica Lake inside of a minute.” Answer: LA Confidential, 1997. Winner: Leonidas.
    Kerik Nomination is a Ticking Time Bomb
    by Ellis Henican
    Campaign bodyguard to Rudy Giuliani.
    Errand boy for the Saudi royal family.
    Energetic exploiter of Sept. 11th tragedy.
    Tough-talking publicity-hound vowing to bring law and order to Iraq – then hightailing it out of there after a disastrous 14 weeks, leaving the place far less safe than he found it.
    Oh, the bullet points on Bernie Kerik’s real-life resume just go on and on. But is this really the guy we want standing between us and the terrorists?
    George W. Bush apparently thinks so. (Rest of article here.)
    End of Day: 8:32 pm
    + = Got a lot more free time today than I expected.
    - = First freeze tonight.

  • FRIDAY FIVE

    1. Choose one person on your friends list to switch locations with for one month. Who is the friend, where do they live and why did you choose that location?
    A few years ago I reconnected with a friend I made in my 20′s as we crossed paths in Bloomington, Indiana when I was on my way to Russia and she on her way to California. Today she lives in the Bay Area (Emeryville to be exact on the Berkeley side of the bay) and is a successful painter. You can see her and her work here. We spent time together in New York City and the Haight-Ashbury before we lost track. I haven’t been back to that place in my life for 35 years and would love to revisit many places that hold intense memories. A month would be the perfect amount of time to do that at my leisure. Also, my son’s dad lives in San Francisco and I’d like to meet his new mate and her family as it seems to be a long-term relationship. (He and I never actually lived together but have remained friends all these years.) He was also a part of that time for me, the ’60′s.’
    2. Provide two bits of trivia about your town.
    Well, Portland is the only city in the U.S with an extinct volcano within city limits (Mt. Tabor). And more Asian elephants have been born at the Portland zoo than any other zoo in North America.
    3. I come to your town for a visit–what three places do you take me to during my visit?
    First we’d have coffee at Powell’s Books, a gigantic warehouse of books that you could get lost in with winding passages up and down and all around, plus a great coffee room with windows on the street. Then we’d go to the Japanese Garden, which is the best anywhere outside of Japan I’ve heard. This would be in June when the Japanese irises are in bloom and you would have to be a calm spiritual person who could really take the time to drift slowly from one beautiful spot to another along the enchanting little paths. Finally, we’d go for lunch to Nicholas Restaurant, a tiny Lebanese hole-in-the-wall on the inner east side with great service, fantastic food at a great price, and music that makes you want to get up and dance if only you weren’t enjoying the food so much.
    4. You are handed a camera, what are four places you take pictures of in your town?
    First the Japanese Garden (again), especially the sand pattern gardens and the giant orange fish. Then the Oregon Zoo where you never can tell which creatures will be making drama. Then the Crystal Springs Rhododendron Gardens (during blooming season) to see the thousands of wild birds who live safely there swallowed up in the blooms. Then Saturday Market for just plain people madness.
    5. Revisit Question #1 – what are five places you visit while you’re in your switched location?
    I only want to see the places that were so meaningful to me one last time: the Haight-Ashbury, Marin County, North Beach,City Lights Bookstore, the Berkeley campus.

    Deep Thought: “Normally I’m not one to believe in little green men from Mars. But one night, as I was driving home from a party, I caught something in my headlights I still can’t explain. It had weird, catlike eyes and only stood about a foot tall. It was covered with grayish fur, and walked on all fours, like a cat. It had a tail, which if I had to describe in terms of something here on Earth was, in a way, like a cat’s. Also, it was carrying a ray gun in its mouth. It was either a ray gun or a mouse.”
    Today I am grateful for: Being able to order DSL which will hopefully speed up the time I spend here
    Guess the Movie: “An essential characteristic of the superhero mythology is, there’s the superhero, and there’s the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When he wakes up in the morning, he’s Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic that Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he’s Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red “S”, that’s the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses, the business suit, that’s the costume. That’s the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He’s weak, he’s unsure of himself… he’s a coward. Clark Kent is Superman’s critique on the whole human race. Sort of like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plympton.” Answer: Kill Bill, Vol. II, 2004. Winner: tikhead.
    U.S. Soldiers Seek Asylum in Canada
    by Marty Logan
    MONTREAL – Canadian leaders, not the country’s refugee system, should decide the fate of soldiers who have deserted the U.S. military to apply for asylum in their northern neighbor, according to a support group.
    One of those soldiers, Jeremy Hinzman, will go before Canada’s refugee board Monday for a hearing on whether he qualifies for asylum. The adjudicator who will decide the case has already announced he will not consider the argument that Hinzman did not have to serve because the U.S.-led war on Iraq was illegal. (Rest of article here.)
    End of Day: 9:06 pm
    + = Made a little headway trying to figure out what’s wrong with my camcorder today.
    - = After the first attempt where the guy would have gladly ripped me off for the $120+ flat fee to fix any camcorder and it turned out all I needed to do was recharge the battery.