SATURDAY POEM I ADMIRE
(See sidebar for others)

Regret

Sitting with a blank page
And so much to say
It occurs to me
That I do not know
The Iraqi word
For “Sorry”

Gill Laker, 46 yrs old, IT Database Designer and mother, Poet Against the War
And thenarrator sent along this incredible piece on regret -check it out!

Deep Thought: “They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”
Today I am grateful for: That 70′s Show
Guess the Movie: “The white men who wore this came around the time of my grandfather’s grandfather. Eventually we drove them out. Then the Mexicans came. But they do not come here anymore. In my own time, the Texans. They have been like all the others. They take without asking. But I think you are right. I think they will keep coming. When I think of that, I look at this helmet. I don’t know if we are ready for these people. Our country is all that we have, and we will fight to keep it.” Answer: Dances with Wolves, 1990. Winner: thenarrator.
Fallujah Situation ‘Disastrous’, Charity Says
by Kim Sengupta in Camp Dogwood, Iraq
(This pool copy dispatch was compiled under Ministry of Defense restrictions.)
Civilians trapped in Fallujah face a humanitarian disaster unless Iraqi and American authorities allow food, water and medicine into the besieged city, aid agencies warned last night. (Rest of article here.)
End of Day: 9:41 pm
+ = Transferred caterpillar chrysalides successfully to butterfly garden.
- = Don’t EVER try to cook macaroni and cheese in a child’s Easy-Bake Oven because it’s harder than cooking an entire Thanksgiving dinner and will make you have a cerebral hemorrhage.

FRIDAY FIVE

1. Pick a theme song that represents your life:
Imagine (Lennon). Prone to seeing the dark side of pretty much everything, I cling to the ability to imagine a light at the end of each tunnel and a friendlier, more peaceful world.
2. Do you talk to yourself?
Oh dang betcha, why I just talked to myself a few moments ago over some minor frustration I won’t even go into. Unfortunately, all too often it’s to berate myself for some stupidness I’ve just done. Then I have to tell myself to can it until I can say something nice.
3. Describe your relationship with your co-workers:
Minimal. I learned in the first few weeks of my 20-year stay at this job that even a long-term employee could be fired with no notice at all just because the boss was having a bad hair day. From then on, I put my energy toward making my job as autonomous as possible, and I never go out and socialize with the office “ladies.” I despise the gossip that goes on and the backstabbing and whispering, etc. I’ve worked out a pretty good manner of being courteous and friendly to all while staying below the radar. I’ve also learned how to use the well-timed thanks and appreciation to various bosses along the way who do me good turns.
4. Have you ever done karaoke?
Never and never will. Making a damn fool of myself is just not in my genes. Sometimes I wish it was. Life might be funnier.
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
If I ever did, it was in the dim past. I do believe we are like animals in the jungle – let’s say you’re a lion and you pass a gorilla and wave and then a giraffe and wave and then an elephant and you wave and it’s nice to see them, but you’d really like to hang some of the time with another lion which you can recognize instantly. Of course, that doesn’t mean that every lion has a great personality and no hidden character defects. So I believe short of happening upon another lion who has already done their emotional work, you pick the best other jungle citizen you can find and work on the connection which then becomes love.

Deep Thought: “I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.”
Today I am grateful for: Christmas displays in the stores before Halloween (if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em)
Guess the Movie: “They say if we go with them, we’ll live forever. And that’s good. It’s probably going to take you an eternity to forgive me… Alma, I’m sorry. I guess I was being ridiculous. I’m sorry. I love you. You’re my whole life. I wanna go. But if it’s a choice of only six more months here with you or living forever all by myself, well I’ll take the six more months here with you. I don’t want to live forever if you’re not going to be with me.” Answer: Cocoon, 1985. Winner: officeconfidential.
Ten Reasons Not to Move to Canada
by Sarah Anderson
 Ready to say screw this country and buy a one-way ticket north? Here are some reasons to stay in the belly of the beast… (rest of article here)
End of Day: 8:23 pm
+ = The caterpillars I sent away for are looking like they’re going to be ready for my grandchildren to move them as chrysalides into their butterfly garden tomorrow when they visit.
- = Something I ate today has thrown into total downtime all afternoon and evening.

THURSDAY WHATEVER

Upping the Ante

FALLUJAH, IRAQ — U.S. troops were on the verge of gaining control of Fallujah yesterday, but Iraqi insurgents struck back by kidnapping three relatives of Prime Minister Ayad Allawi and threatening to behead them unless the attack stops.

Mr. Allawi’s office said Baghdad’s policies will not change: “This is yet another criminal act by terrorists and will not thwart the determination of the government to combat terrorism.”

The clock is ticking and who’s pointing now, Mr. Allawi? (Read article.)

Deep Thought: “I bet when they weren’t fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes on the ends of the horns, so as to avoid eye-pokings to fellow Vikings and lady Vikings.”
Today I am grateful for: Organic food
Guess the Movie: “If you’re born in Kentucky you’ve got three choices; coal mine, moonshine or move it on down the line.” Answer: Coalminer’s Daughter. Winner: rideuponthewind.
Human ‘Disaster’ Looms in Encircled Falluja
FALLUJA, Iraq — Fighting in Falluja has created a humanitarian disaster in which innocent people are dying because medical help cannot reach them, aid workers in Iraq said today. (Rest of article.)
End of Day: 9:26 pm
+ = Found a super restaurant in Portland with my little gaggle of friends today called Nicholas, a little hole in the wall down on Grand that serves Lebanese food.
- = Ate too much.

WEDNESDAY MOVIE(S)

I looked at a list of best movies of this year and another of “all time” and decided to pick a couple of warrior flicks to review.
Friday Night Lights
I never watch football on TV, or really any other sports that much, but I do love a good sports film. Ever since they invented that slow-motion gimmick where the game is down to the final seconds and there’s a desperate goal that needs to be made to win and the ball is in the air and you don’t know if the runner will catch it (or it will go in the basket or out of the park) and everything goes quiet and slows way down, and then suddenly it’s over and the crowd is roaring and the music is swelling. Well, it doesn’t get any better than that. So I looked forward to Friday Night Lights – and I wasn’t disappointed. About an actual town in Texas where they take their football seriously enough to threaten the coach, it’s the story of a particular high school team in a particular year trying to make it to the nationals. There was a similar excellent documentary a few years ago about another team in Massilon, Ohio called “Go Tigers” that told the same story – a whole town addicted to football and winning and the price paid by the young players. All the youngsters carried their roles just fine, but surprise performances were by Billy Bob Thornton as the coach (who would have thought) and Tim McGraw (country singer) as a drunken abusive dad. Even if you could care less about sports, it’s a whiz of a story.
The Seven Samurai
Exactly 50 years ago in film, another band of warriors set out to challenge themselves and a worthy opposition in 16th century Japan. You probably know the story if you saw the American take-off, The Magnificent Seven years later. The original just happens to be the very first foreign film I ever saw when I hit college age, so I have a special spot in my heart for it. Directed by the legendary Akira Kurosawa, it follows the adventures of a little band of samurai who have formed at the request of a small village which is being attacked regularly by bandits. They teach the townspeople how to defend themselves in return for being fed (samurai having fallen upon hard times in these years). Each of the samurai has a special quality to bring to the battle. It’s a fantastic film, introducing techniques used in many battle scenes in years to follow. If you are ever lucky enough to find it playing in a theater, don’t miss it. Otherwise, you’ll have to find it in your local video store or library. First-rate, top-notch, memorable.

Deep Thought: “If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting!”
Today I am grateful for: Web-safe colors
Guess the Movie: “There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.” Answer: The Clockwork Orange, 1971. Winner: tikhead.
From CommonDreams.org: Bush Planning Changes, So We Must Organize, Be Ready
by Ed Garvey
“What a difference a week makes. Last Tuesday I began my day confident that John Kerry would win a decisive victory. This week I am told by the grand poo-bahs that Bush voters go to church more often than Kerry voters.
We are told that “moral issues” decided this race and that mantra is repeated ad nauseum on talk shows. Nonsense. One exit poll and we are to believe that global warming, pollution of our lakes and streams, 100,000 deaths in Iraq, 1,120 dead soldiers, 45 million uninsured Americans are less important than gay marriage, stem cell research and the number of days we attend church?” More of article here.
End of Day: 10:28 pm
+ = Got one of my crowns pasted back on tight today so I can chew again.
- = Watching with fascination to see what the Iraqi Prime Minister is going to do about his relatives who were kidnapped.

TUESDAY POLITICS

thenarrator recently challenged us to come up with some specific things to do about the standing of the Democratic Party and the state of affairs of our nation. Here is one thing that I found on mezamishi‘s site:

We must Rebuild our democracy from the ground up!
Howard Dean has the right idea. 
TAKE ACTION: Sign the petition about making him
chairman of the Democratic National Committee.

This is one thing you could do without even getting out of your chair right now. How easy is that?
On a related note, I read this in Graydon Carter’s Editor’s Letter in the current Vanity Fair:
“For ground troops, of course, conditions are far worse. Those who survive their extended tours of duty may find a hidden enemy when they get home–the same debilitating and potentially fatal illness that first became known as Gulf War syndrome…..one element that could escalate this number considerably is the continued use of uranium 238, or depleted uranium, on the tips of munitions carried by the A-10 Warthog attack jets and the M-1 Abrams battle tanks…When a shell hits its target, it burns, losing anywhere from 40 to 70 percent of its mass and dispersing a fine dust that can be carried long distances by winds or absorbed directly into the soil and groundwater. Because of its obvious toxicity and radioactivity, many experts believe it is one of the contributing factors to Gulf War syndrome. During that conflict, allied forces used approximately 320 tons of D.U.–which has a half-life of 4.5 billion years. By one estimate, the U.S. has used as much as 1700 tons in the current Iraq war.”
So not only are we killing our own citizens as well as theirs, we are killing the very earth anyone there will live on for pretty much ever. So much for liberation – over and out.
And omigod read this.

Deep Thought: “Consider the daffodil. And while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, looking through your stuff.”
Today I am grateful for: Long distance running
Guess the Movie: “Don’t worry Wilson, I’ll do all the paddling. You just hang on.” Answer: Castaway, 2000. Winner: swawg.
From CommonDreams.Org: “Where should the United States invade next? Iran, Syria, or Cuba? Will George Bush merely slash taxes on the rich even further in his second term, or will he have the courage to abolish income tax altogether? Will gay marriage simply be outlawed state by state, or will a much-threatened constitutional amendment come into being?” Rest of article here.
End of Day: 8:59 pm
+ = The colors of the leaves now are ecstatic.
- = Can you believe Ashcroft is after the Oregon Death with Dignity Act again before he leaves power!! Good freaking luck buddy.

MONDAY BOOK

Time and Again
Jack Finney

Most of us have seen that wonderful old film, Somewhere in Time, that Christopher Reeve made back in 1980. It was based on a book called Bid Time Return by Richard Matheson that came out in 1975. But five years before that Time and Again was published, telling the original version of the story of a young man who manages to go back in time. In this case, he begins his journey in the Dakota, that infamous hotel in New York City where John Lennon was shot, where Rosemary’s Baby was filmed, and where many celebrities have lived over the years. It is a three-dimensional chamber of rooms that has not changed in over a century and looks out on a part of Central Park that is also remarkably the same though now there is a memorial called Strawberry Fields there. Anyone who is fascinated by the sounds and smells and look of old New York City will love this book that even includes wonderful photos and sketches of that spot in time. So I’ve begun to follow the hero back to see how his mystery will turn out and in the fourth chapter I happened on a little section that describes Einstein’s discoveries in a delightful way. Since I’ve recently posted on Einstein and Hawking, I thought I’d quote it here:

“Did you know that years ago Einstein theorized that light had weight? Now, that’s about as silly a notion as a man could have formed. Not another human being in the world thought that or ever had; contradicts every feeling we have about light…But there was a way to test that theory. During eclipses of the sun, astronmers began observing that light passing it bent in toward it. Pulled by the sun’s gravity, you see. Inescapably, that meant that light has weight: Albert Einstein was right , and he was off and running….Time passed. That astonishing mind continued to work. And Einstein announced that E equals MC squared. And, God forgive us, two Japanese cities disappeared in the blink of an eye and proved that he was right again. I could go on; the list of Einstein’s discoveries is a considerable one. But I’ll skip to this: Presently he said that our ideas about time are largely mistaken. And I don’t doubt for an instant that he was right once more. Because one of his final contributions not too long before he died was to prove that all his theories are unified. They’re not separate but interconnected, each depending upon and confirming the others; they largely explain how the universe works, and it doesn’t work as we’d thought… He meant that we’re mistaken in our conception of what the past, present and future really are. We think the past is gone, the future hasn’t yet happened, and that only the present exists. Because the present is all we can see…As Einstein himself pointed out. He said we’re like people in a boat without oars drifting along a winding river. Around us we see only the present. We can’t see the past, back in the bends and curves behind us. But it’s there…When he said light has weight, he meant that the sunlight lying on a field of wheat actually weighs several tons. And now we know–it’s been measured–that it really does. He meant that the tremendous energy theoretically binding atoms together could really be released in one unimaginable burst. As it really can, a fact that has changed the course of the human race. He also meant precisely what he said about time: that the past, back there around the curves and bends, really exists. It is actually there.”

In the story Time and Again, the hero steps out of the boat and onto the shore to walk back to the bend. I can’t wait to find out what happens next.

Deep Thought: “It’s funny how two simple words, “I promise,” will stall people for a while.”
Today I am grateful for: My spine
Guess the Movie: “What’s the matter with you?” “I can’t swim.” “Why you crazy, the fall will probably kill you.” Answer: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 1969. Winner: thenarrator.
I’ve watched today as my countrymen lay waste to more of Iraq and the people of Fallujah huddle in terror. More from Common Dreams.org: “US and Iraqi forces unleashed an all-out offensive to seize Fallujah from the hands of rebels, with marines advancing on the city’s heart following massive strikes by artillery and warplanes.” Rest of article here.
End of Day: Forgot last night. Now it’s 5:03 am on Tuesday.
+ = Got through day without crown falling off.
- = More watching of murder in Fallujah.

Looks like the graphics servers are down till this afternoon. Will post then.

PEOPLE WHO KNOCK ME OUT
(see sidebar for others)

Stephen William Hawking (1942-present)

Precisely 300 years after the death of Galileo Galilei, an English boy was born who had a normal childhood other than being slow to read and who resisted his father’s wish for him to become a doctor, turning to his real interest, astronomy. At just 21, an unusually early age for onset of the disease, he was stricken with ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), which kills the nerve cells in the upper spinal cord so that signals cannot be carried from the brain to the muscles of the body. It is incurable and most of its victims die with five years of diagnosis. Stephen Hawking has now survived over four decades and can only breathe with aid of a tracheotomy that leaves him unable to speak. During those 40 years, he has become the most renowned theoretical physicist alive. He is a quantum cosmologist at Cambridge University, studying the universe at a time when it was so small that atoms had not yet formed, and is best known for his exploration into the nature of black holes. When he was 46, he published his first book, A Brief History of Time, which became the best-selling scientific work in history. For most of us, just trying to figure out how the universe would bestow both this great intellect and a catastrophic illness upon the same person is mind-boggling enough. If there is a god out there who can explain it, Stephen Hawking is probably just the man to hear it first.

Deep Thought: “How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn’t have that dangerous beak. “
Today I am grateful for: Speech
Guess the Movie: “When I think of why I make pictures, the reason that I can come up with just seems that I’ve been making my way here. It seems right now that all I’ve ever done in my life is making my way here to you. ” Answer: Bridges of Madison County, 1995. Winner: Literature_Chick.
From Common Dreams.org: “Iraq’s interim government declared a state of emergency for 60 days on Sunday to quell violence gripping the country ahead of January elections.” Read the rest of the article here.
End of Day: 8:38 pm
+ = Nice peaceful day to myself and last mow of year probably got done.
- = 200,000+ people have had to flee Fallujah so Bush can get his jollies.

SATURDAY POEM I ADMIRE

A Family History

At dusk the girl who will become my mom
must trudge through the snow, her legs
cold under skirts, a bandanna tight on her braids.
In the henhouse, a klook pecks her chapped hand
as she pulls a warm egg from under its breast.
This girl will always hate hens,
and she already knows she won’t marry a farmer.
In a dim barn, my father, a boy, forks hay
under the holsteins’ steaming noses.
They sway on their hooves and swat dangerous tails,
but he is thinking of snow, how it blows
across the gray pond scribbled with skate tracks,
of the small blaze on its shore, and the boys
in black coats who skate hand-in-hand
round and round, building up speed
until the leader cracks that whip
of mittens and arms, and it jerks around
fast, flinging off the last boy.
He’d be that one–flung like a spark
trailing only his scarf.
Julia Kasdorf, 1992

Deep Thought: “What am I afraid of? I’ll tell you: a feather. That’s right, a feather. How could anyone be afraid of a feather, you say. That’s an honest question, and I’ll try to give it an honest answer. First of all, did I say it was a poison feather? “
Today I am grateful for: Knowing it will be a gorgeous sunny fall day in my town
Guess the Movie: “It was the morning of April 20th 1999, and it was pretty much like any other morning in America. The Farmer did his chores. The milkman made his deliveries. The President bombed another country whose name we couldn’t pronounce. Out in Fargo, North Dakota, Cary McWilliams went on his morning walk. Back in Michigan, Mrs Hughes welcomed her students for another day of school. And out in a little town in Colorado, two boys went bowling at 6 in the morning. Yes, it was a typical day in the United States of America. ” Answer: Bowling for Columbine, 2002.. Winner: thenarrator.
From CommonDreams.Org: “WASHINGTON – An influential foreign-policy neo-conservative with long-standing ties to top hawks in the administration of President George W Bush has laid out what he calls ”a checklist of the work the world will demand of this president and his subordinates in a second term.”
The list, which begins with the destruction of Fallujah in Iraq and ends with the development of ”appropriate strategies” for dealing with threats posed by China, Russia and ”the emergence of a number of aggressively anti-American regimes in Latin America,” also calls for ”regime change” in Iran and North Korea. ” Rest of article here.
End of Day: 10:00 pm
+ = No dental disasters today.
- = The Incredibles really wasn’t that good for me or my grandchildren.

FRIDAY FIVE

You’re stranded on an island.
Not a completely desolate island. More along the lines that the boat delivering supplies only comes once every six months and will never, ever take you home. Decide what you’ll bring!
One celebrity: – Bob Dylan
Two books: (1) Random House Dictionary of the English Language Unabridged Edition and (2) Siddhartha – by Hermann Hesse
Three edibles: – Mixed nuts, red grapes, avocados.
Four films: Hoosiers, Moonstruck, The Last Waltz, A Beautiful Mind
Five music albums: (1) Pearl – Janis Joplin, (2) Blue – Joni Mitchell, (3) Unplugged – Eric Clapton, (4) Blonde on Blonde – Dylan, and (5) The Four Seasons – Vivaldi.
(Artist of painting is Sophie Hallonquist).

Deep Thought: “If I could be any kind of dog, I think I’d be one of those little yappy dogs, because while you’re sitting there on the couch trying to sound real smart, I’m just yapping away. Just yappin’ and yappin’, and there’s nothing you can do about it, because I live here.”
Today I am grateful for: Cybercommunity
Guess the Movie: “Sometimes I wish, I wish I’d — The first time I got hit, I was shot in the foot. I could have laid down, I mean — who gives a fuck now if I was a hero or not? I was paralyzed, castrated that day; why? It was all so — stupid! I’d have my dick and my balls now, and some days, Timmy — some days I think I’d give everything I believe in — everything I got, all my values, just to have my body back again, just to be whole again. But I’m not whole; I never will be, and that’s — that’s the way it is, isn’t it?” Answer: Born on the Fourth of July, 1989. Winner: merrow_mistral.
Read it and Weep:
The president’s agenda
George W. Bush outlined these issues Thursday as top priorities for his second term:
Iraq
Goal: Stabilize the country and conduct democratic elections.
Challenge: Find the right mix of military action and diplomacy to end the insurgency.
Taxes
Goal: Simplify the income tax code without increasing Americans’ tax bill.
Challenge: Find a proposal that can win bipartisan backing.
Social Security
Goal: Create private savings accounts into which people can divert a part of their payroll tax.
Challenge: Revise a near-sacred entitlement and find trillions of dollars in up-front costs.
Legal reform
Goal: Limit medical malpractice lawsuits.
Challenge: Strike a balance between excessive restriction and consumer protection.
For more read this article.
End of Day: 9:07 pm
+ = I have excellent dental insurance, pays for everything except crowns which cost $75, and today I forgot my morning dental appointment thereby meaning I didn’t have to turn right around and come back when disaster struck a few hours later, I could just go in, and then I got to see my favorite dentist in the office.
- = Would you believe yet another old crown just snapped right off this morning as I was flossing, so I wound up starting another root canal which will be followed by yet another post and crown in future appointments, which all makes me feel like either my teeth are going to all betray me, or on the other hand I’m going through a period of “Dental Strengthening.”