Keeping a Light Heart

Exlog, one of my favorite Xangans was talking about the importance of this for what ails us.  I ran across this poem and thought he, and you, might like it.

Deep Thought:  Instead of putting a quarter under a kid’s pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that “wishing” isn’t going to save our national forests.

Today I am grateful for:  Acorns

Spring Morning in Portland, Oregon

They’re having tornados in Utica but here in peaceful Portland this is what it looks like at 5:45 a.m.  I’m actually at work by now and it’s 7:25 a.m.

Yesterday I got to go with my son (who turned 36) and my two grandchildren for Mother’s Day and his birthday to a little island close to where I live called Elk Rock Island.  Here’s what a little piece of it looks like.  The island represents part of an ancient volcano that erupted about 40 million years ago.  The large, jagged rocks (Waverly Heights basalt) found throughout the island were formed by lava flows, and may be the oldest exposed rock in the Portland area.

Elk Rock Island was part of the original donation land claim of Milwaukie pioneer Lot Whitcomb and was known as Lot Whitcomb Island during the 1860s. It went through six owners before Scottish grain exporter and Portland businessman Peter Kerr (1862-1957) acquired the property in 1910 from the Rock island Club, which operated a dance hall on the island. He gave the island to the City of Portland in 1940 with the requirement that it be preserved in its natural state. As Kerr put it, “Preserve it as a pretty place for all to enjoy.” On October 29, 1954, the Kerr formally dedicated Peter Kerr Park with a bronze plaque on Peter Kerr’s 93rd birthday.  For those of you Xangans who live in Portland this is a little known nature treasure to visit.  It’s easy to get to and easy to hike.  We saw herons and geese and lots of exciting bugs.  Of course we had our gear – binoculars, bug box, one of those Christopher Robin nets on a long stick bug catching things.  The weather was perfect.  It was just the right amount of outing for me.  Now on with the Rest of the Year.

Deep Thought:  It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running to go fight in another fight, away from the first fight. 
Today I am grateful for:  My Timex starting ticking again just when I thought it was broken for good.

THINGS THAT REFRESH MY SOUL

Karma

For those who just tuned in, I started doing this topic on Sundays back at A in the alphabet, so it’s been a few months now and I finally reached K. It’s a bit of a stretch to come up with something starting with K, but my flower child circuits kicked in and Karma popped into my head. Then I googled for an image and you’d be amazed how many people have named their children, pets, and rock bands Karma. So Karma. First of all, it conjures up for me personally those delightful distant days when peace/joy/love was my main vocabulary and the future seemed oh so probably rosy. Then I had children of my own and suddenly it seemed I was going to have to deal with the Real World to keep us floating. Karma fell into a category of concepts to consider in the five minutes each week one wasn’t struggling to pay the rent. Still I began to notice (without parents, ex-husbands, teachers etc telling me) that my own actions had increasingly foreseeable consequences. You know, when you’re young and bulletproof you try things out that you know are pushing the boundaries just to see if you can get away with it. (Actually, some of the greatest human accomplishments have resulted from such uppityness.) But later on when you have less energy to squander, you start to get a little of that stuff called Wisdom in spite of yourself. You begin to see the train coming down the tracks. Unfortunately, we live in an Instant Society, so we like to see Instant Karma. If we do something Good, we want to see good consequences right away. But I’ve learned for myself that it may take the rest of our lives or into the next generation for the good to ripple back. I think the same may be true of countries. Our country seems to be creating some bad karma for itself right now and I keep wondering how soon we’ll start paying the price with more 9/11′s. I hope that the current of resistance to this trend, the energy that goes toward peace, will have its own karma. So What Goes Around Comes Around and on Mother’s Day today I wish you a day of Good Karma. We’ll need all we can get for the journey to come.
Deep Thought: Whenever I start thinking that I am not living up to my potential, I remind myself of the old farmer and his fight to the death with the insane pig. It’s an exciting story, and it takes my mind off all this “potential” business.
Today I am grateful for: Mothers

Joseph Darby

Truth Teller
Spc. Joseph Darby, Iraq Prison Whistle-Blower, Followed His Conscience

May 7, 2004 — Army Spc. Joseph Darby, 24, is the man who sounded the first alarm about the abuse of Iraqis at Abu Ghraib prison — by people in his own 372nd Military Police Company. See full article here

Interestingly, I’ve heard nothing about this young man on the TV news. Apparently, he was the first to step forward and protest the goings-on that are now public knowledge. I’d sure love to see what has happened to him in the wake of his courage. On behalf of all mothers on the day before Mother’s Day, I’d like to say thank you, Joseph Darby.
Deep Thought: You know how to paint a room real fast? Just put paint rollers on your feet and somehow figure out how to skate up the walls and across the ceiling.
Today I am grateful for: Skin

The Last Samurai

Finally out in video. This was what I had hoped to see for the Christmas movie outing but wound up in Master and Commander instead. Both are testosterone fests. I must say I enjoy dry land films more than sea sagas. Plus the costumes are way prettier in this one. And I mean the men’s costumes. It’s basically a redemption tale. Cruise finds his way out of the miserable pit he’s made for himself from memories of Custer’s last stand by lining up with the proud, disciplined, and spiritual samurai as they are finally forced into their own last stand. When looking for an image I found this nice page of the history of that event and some precepts – see here. There are some riproaring battle scenes and smaller scale fights, but I enjoyed most the quiet philosophical moments. Cruise and Watanabe did well with their roles. There were some smaller roles that were good. Guess history is just going to keep repeating this story of big superpowers crushing smaller ones till the end of time. Have a peaceful day.
Deep Thought: If you lose your job, your marriage and your mind all in one week, try to lose your mind first, because then the other stuff won’t matter that much.
Today I am grateful for: iTunes Music Store

Step Into My Life

This photo was taken in my living room one weekend morning a few months ago when it was still cold enough to have a fire. The white brick fireplace is an endless task. Anybody know a foolproof way to clean soot from white brick? And boy does the ceiling need to be repainted. I’ve made my tiny living room the house art gallery – everything in it was done by someone in the family. The drawing on the top left was done by my son in his one art class as a teenager. Below it is a collage by my aunt who made them out of rice paper she dyed herself and became famous in her 70′s through her 90′s for her art. See here. The watercolor over the center of the fireplace was done by me on Formentera in the 60′s. It’s a whale at sunset. I didn’t actually see any whales there, but hey I was mainly a poet. On either side are collages made by my grandchildren when we visited an artfest at a local library branch one day and they had pots of glue and bushels of found objects to glue on. At the far right of the mantel is a tiny house hand built and painted by my grandson in an art class I sent him to – he also made ceramic animals and stuff to glue to it. You can’t imagine how thrilled I was to get it. Unfortunately, this view of the room does not show anything by my daughter who is also very talented. You can get an idea of that here. There are photo albums on the left end of the mantel – I’m the family historian for now. There’s an origami tiger by my granddaughter on the mantel. To the right is the usual crap in the entertainment center – kids books in the low shelf. I usually lounge on the couch across from the fireplace to meditate, watch TV, or sulk, depending on my mood. I love my house and wish I would have thought of being a homeowner years sooner than the 10 I’ve been here. Welcome.
Deep Thought: Toward the end of the Stone Age I bet there was already a feeling that metal was just around the corner.
Today I am grateful for: Hearths

You Can’t Say It Too Many Times

Now we’re being shown the cruelty of American soldiers to Iraqi prisoners. See full story. I have to say I’m not astonished or amazed like the Bush administration professes to be. This is what war does to people. Brings out the absolute beast. Lowers and degrades the soul. I had a close friend once who went to the Vietnam war as a very young man and walked point. And learned to do drugs there. Heroin actually. He was bright and personable and also very angry when I met him. By then he was about 45. He had post-traumatic stress. He got clean from drugs for a few years, but his anger took him back out again. He married someone else who eventually got a restraining order. In the end, he moved back into his mother’s home (which by the way was where in his childhood he had been the one to find his father after a suicide by gun). One morning she found him dead of an overdose in his sleeping bag. Pray for Peace on Earth.
Deep Thought: I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist: “You know what will save the world? You’re holding it in your hand.” And the other scientist looks, and in his hand are some peanuts. Then, when he looks up, the first scientist is being taken away to the insane asylum.
Today I am grateful for: Photographic proof

Baseball Family Therapy

This is my granddaughter posing for her baseball team photo. Her dad, my son, was a jock since he discovered at an early age that it was a way to make friends and also that he loved sports. He has been hoping to be a sports dad, but his first child turned out to be an artist, so he turned to his second child and she obliged. As an observer, my impression is that she’s doing it mostly to please him but that she also kind of enjoys it. I sure don’t see the passion for it that he had when he was her age. But here’s the really fascinating thing. Her parents were married and divorced, not just once but twice – once for each child. This was of course devastating, not just for them and the children, but for all members of this rather large extended family, me included. I still grieve to some extent at this loss. But both parents have moved on to new stable relationships and both deeply love these two children, so the kids spend time each week with both parents separately, and also with me (every Saturday for the past 10 years until just recently). For the first time since the last divorce, the family that was shattered has come together – at the baseball field. Grandmothers, stepgrandfathers, fathers, mothers, girlfriend, new husband, cousins, and of course both these children. We sit side by side and talk to each other and something begins to heal. I sit in the sun there and wonder how many other family dramas are playing themselves out at baseball family therapy out of love for a child. And I am happy.
Deep Thought:There’s always been a good explanation for everything. When that owl attacked Grandma and started biting her head, at first it didn’t make any sense. Why would an owl attack Grandma? But then we found out later: a mouse was living in her hairdo.
Today I am grateful for: Not having seen any owls in my neighborhood

What Is Your Stand On……..?
Here’s my answers. See link at end.

Deep Thought: One year Dad decided he was going to take us on a “surprise vacation.” We wouldn’t know where we were going until we got there. We were all real excited when we piled into the station wagon early one morning. We went about five blocks, then we got in an accident at a four-way stop. I guess it was a pretty good surprise, but why did we need all that camping gear?
Today I am grateful for: Ted Koppel

THINGS THAT REFRESH MY SOUL

Jane and Josh

.These are my two three-dimensional proofs of reproductivity in their early days on the planet. This was in our living on welfare in Marin County period. Jane’s father was a Swiss painter in New York City on a 6-month visa when I met him and he looked like this photo. He died two years ago of throat cancer. He became a world-famous tattoo artist. Josh’s father is a musician who prefers jazz but works mainly for years now with Huey Lewis & The News. The photo is how he looks today. I met him in S.F. after Jane’s father was gone. He still lives there. It all sure wasn’t traditional and left lots of scars, but Jane and Josh were the gifts. This is them recently. Their paths veered away from each other years ago, but to my perspective are startlingly parallel. Each is sensitive, talented, building character, politically correct, and close enough by to enjoy but not smother. They refresh my soul.
Deep Thought: My parents used to abandon me a lot as a child. In the morning, they’d take me to my school and then abandon me there, until school got out. Then at night, after they tucked me in bed, they’d abandon me and go to sleep in their own bedroom. Sometimes they’d let me sleep with them in their room, but if I started playing my guitar they’d take me back to my bedroom and abandon me again. Once, they abandoned me for a whole week, at my grandparents’ house.
Today I am grateful for: Heredity