Christmas Eve

What if there had been no special baby born in a cave under the stars? What if all we had had to celebrate the past few thousand years were millions and millions of babies born under the stars — small humans, growing into wise humans, with no special being to mediate between us and the heavens, no special being given the task of uniquely loving, laughing, bleeding, dying, rising? What if there were just us, the lovely earth, the watching stars? What if…….?

What if all the love and tenderness for earth and each other had to come from us alone, witnessed only by the stars? What if the gods themselves have decreed that we alone hold responsibility for the wonder and fragile beauty of this planet? Could we not then do a better job of all this? — with no one to fall back upon but ourselves? I’m not suggesting that there are no deities or Watchers out there, only that perhaps we have too long depended upon rescue from “out there” instead of focusing upon the innate wisdom and compassion long ago seeded within us.

In this season of Light’s birth from the holy, all encompassing, pulsing Darkness, perhaps we could remember that what’s really being born, hopefully, is our own ability to mature and navigate gracefully through both Darkness and Light, for the dance between these seeming opposites profoundly enriches the deeper wisdom lying too long unclaimed within us……. (reprinted from www.mythinglinks.org)

Deep Thought:If you ever discover that what you’re seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and hold on for the ride of your life.

Today I am grateful for: Hope

Over the Rainbow

This morning as I was driving to work in the dark, I was listening to my one and only car radio station – National Public Radio – and they were doing a segment on the song Over the Rainbow, telling the history of who wrote it and how and when and of course playing Judy Garland singing it.  Suddenly, pulled to a stoplight at a busy intersection, watching the lights turn from green to yellow to red and back, and the street glistening in their reflection, I felt an incredible yearning to have my parents with me this Christmas.  They are long gone, years ago, but they are still such a huge part of who I am and who their grandchildren are.  I wonder if one day my children will have these moments, when I am long gone, of sudden longing for me, and one day my grandchildren will miss their own parents.  Kind of like the Quaker Oats Box where the man is holding a Quaker Oats Box on which is a picture of a man holding a Quaker Oats Box.  In the dark there, as tears came to my eyes, I was sure that they will, and I am just as sure that my parents ARE here this Christmas.

Deep Thought:  I bet what happened was, they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then, that night, they burned the wheel.

Today I am grateful for:  Round numbers

Found this good article.

Winter Solstice

(description by a child)
Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year. People all over the world celebrate it. They have a big feast.

A long time ago, people were scared of spirits and trolls coming. They searched for the sun. They are happy because the sun is coming back.

They wanted the sun to come back so plants would grow. They have a bonfire, a yule log and exchange gifts. They hang a yule wreath on a door. Today we light candles. Some people hung apples on trees.
_______

Yesterday I accomplished quite a bit. Headed out about 1:00 pm for the library. Then to Copymax to pick up my calendars. Then to Fred’s for shopping – big paper to cover the largest gift, stocking stuffers, odds and ends of groceries. Oh yes, and took my tiny grubby Toyota through the carwash.  First time I’ve been in one with no attendants, just punch in a code, drive in and it takes over.  Isn’t it your worst nightmare to get stuck in a carwash and either get electrocuted or have to get out in the midst of the drench and run for the hills?  Rest of day spent wrapping. Still haven’t finished all the cards for office co-workers. Going to have to work my butt off at work today – why do they save the biggest projects for this week of the year?! Next I need to turn my head to getting my cameras ready – camcorder and 2 different cameras – one with color and one with black and white film. Everybody else grumbles a bit, but one day they’ll be glad I’m the family history keeper. Plus I have to figure out what to bring to Xmas dinner – thank god I’m not preparing it all myself like I did for years. Got to stop and get my hair trimmed after work. And to top it all off, it’s WINTER. Seems like it’s been winter for weeks, but it’s only just beginning. Happy Solstice everyone!
Deep Thought:Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don’t care who hears me, because I am beautiful.
Today I am grateful for: Really large wrapping paper

Four Days Till

So the children came yesterday. Cameron was under the weather and sniffling. We watched Christmas movies (Snow Day, Famous Fred, Home Alone) and made drawings, refrigerator magnets, candles, and origami ornaments for the family. One little trip out to the Copymax to order a couple of those calendars with a different photo for each month of the year. I used photos from one of my family traditions which is that since my grandson was about 4 I’ve taken photos of him (and his sister when she came along) on his birthday in July and again in January every year in front of a tree in my back yard so you can see their height in relation to the tree. I now have 10 years of these tree pictures on my frig. Today I’ll go pick those up and do a little last minute shopping of extraneous things like wrapping, visit the library, and spend the rest of the day wrapping and writing Xmas cards.
Deep Thought: Too bad there’s not such a thing as a golden skunk, because you’d probably be proud to be sprayed by one.
Today I am grateful for: Good health

Christmas Choreography

Most of the gifts are more or less ready, now it’s the dance of the cast of characters that remains for the holiday. The cast is:
Me – grandmother and mom
Jane (38) – daughter
Josh (35) – son
Cameron (12) – grandson
Sierra (7) – granddaughter
Lisa (32?) – son’s girlfriend
Tristan (3) – her daughter
Ron – Josh’s dad and grandfather of his kids (lives in San Francisco)
Sean and Sarah – mother of grandchildren and new husband
Co-workers
Neighbor
So starting with today:
Saturday 12/20 – grandchildren visiting me – will spend day helping them make gifts for other family members
Sunday 12/21 – last-minute shopping, Xmas card writing for co-workers and others
Monday 12/22 – got to work, unfortunately pretty swamped there, distribute cards
Tuesday 12/23 – Work, bring gift to neighbor, Ron arrives and spends day with Josh and kids
Wednesday 12/24, Xmas Eve Day – off work, spend day with Josh, Ron, Lisa, and all kids at Josh’s house – Xmas dinner, open some presents, do a little videotaping
Thursday – spend day with Josh, Lisa, Ron (kids leaving with mom until Monday) – probably see a movie
Friday 12/25 – Jane visiting from The Dalles, do an AA meeting with her, Josh has to work so will probably take Ron to lunch and movie, maybe go to the Grotto at dark
Saturday and Sunday 12/26-27 – not sure – probably spend some time each day with Josh, Ron, and Lisa, visit my neighbor
Monday 12/28 – back to work. Now we’ll look back later and see how much of this expected plan happens.
Deep Thought: The old pool shooter had won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing to the floor. “Sorry,” he said with a smile.
Today I am grateful for: Neighbors who keep an eye out (even though it makes me a little paranoid)

Xmas humor

Twas The Day After Christmas
============================

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin’ even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
I went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said “U.S. POSTMAN.”

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox.
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
“Now Dillard’s, now Broadway’s, now Penny’s and Sears
Here’s Robinson’s, Levitz’s and Target’s and Mervyn’s.
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!”

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
“ENJOY WHAT YOU BOUGHT…….

YOU’LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!”

~Author Unknown~

Chapter 5 – poem for last page

LETTER TO A YOUNG WIFE

Yesterday the letter came
It said, “The cherry blooms.”
Between the lines it added:
“In our house are empty rooms.”

The letter said, “A pheasant came,
Its feathers were like bronze.”
It whispered, too, “We miss your step
Across these April lawns.”

I read, “The blackbirds gather
In the rows behind the plow,”
And I wanted so to tell them
How I long to be there now.

I know that swallows fly to missions,
Daffodils return each year.
Why is it only I must leave
These things I hold so dear?

_____________________

So now it will be a few months probably before I can create Chapter 6, when all hell breaks loose in my life.  I really learned something writing Chapter 5, had a big insight.  Realized how carefully my parents (particularly my father) tried to orchestrate my life so that it would be successful and accomplished.  And what happened instead was that I broke under the pressure, kind of like my Dad did when he had already passed PhD status and was teaching for 7 years.  Makes me really think again about my current hopes for my very bright grandson to realize his potential.  He too shows signs of being very sensitive.  Last thing in the world I’d want to do is make him the same nervous wreck I became.  On the other hand, I work with doctors every day and watch medical students come in as residents and spend their four years before they go out in the world.  I know about them that they are orchestrated big-time.  Wonder how many of them crash for the ones that succeed.

Deep Thought:I don’t think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home planet.

Today I am grateful for:  Washing machines and dryers

Sorry folks, I couldn’t resist. I know it’s Xmas but guess who is still over there in harm’s way.